Fusion burns wallet, not face

I made a hesitant purchase the other day while I was staying with family in the Poconos - I had forgotten my razor, which for about three years or so has been the Gillette Mach 3, which I'd been marginally happy with. At the drugstore, I was going to buy another Mach 3, but I noticed that the new Gillette Fusion was only $1.50 more, so I said, out loud, "Yea, I'll bite."

I'm glad I did.

Without boring you on the razor's detailed specifications, I'll simply say this - it has five blades, a smooth strip and some other ribbed thing at the bottom. I have no idea what half of these things do, but I do know it gives me one helluva close shave.

Now, for the downside. What could that be? Big mystery - price!

To get you started, the razor costs about $10. I didn't buy the one with the AAA battery that vibrates, theoretically for a better shave. It seemed too gimmicky. However, where the real dollars have to be doled out is for the replacement blades; they are expensive enough for you to ask if the price is pesos or dollars.

The above pack cost me about $23 with tax at Shoprite today. Aye Carubma! But, if you get a great shave with much less razor burn, don't you gladly shell out the dollars? I do.

Get the Fusion. It's worth the steep price.

GOP 101: Burn a fag, but not a flag

So, the predictable Karl Rove 2006 election strategy has come to pass: trivial, divisive issues that will fire up and distract an American public that is otherwise sick to death of this administration's disastrous policies.

First divisive issue - flag burning. This cartoon probably states my feelings on this better than any 50 paragraphs I could type:

I don't know what I find more incredulous: that Republicans have the balls to try this tactic again, or that the American public can't see right through it. A Constitutional Amendment to ban flag burning would cut right at the heart of what our democracy stands for, period. We have the right to express dissatisfaction with our government, and if a few wayward souls think burning our flag is the way to express those feelings, let them. Would I ever do it? Not a chance, but I'm outraged the government wants to outlaw it.

This is a replay of President Bush Sr., circa the early 1990s: His popularity was going in the toilet (and in the current case, the president's party as well), so he wrapped himself in the American flag. The amendment failed then, and it failed now, but there are two chief differences between then and now: the country is in much worse shape now, and the vote was much closer this time. The measure passed the House, and it failed in the Senate by a single vote. A single fucking vote, people. If this doesn't wake you up, I have no idea what will.

Spearheading the flag burning Amendment is this stupid ass:

Utah Republican Senator Orrin Hatch. This guy must really hate our Constitution, because since he took office in 1977, he's proposed amending it over three dozen times. It makes one wonder if this idiot has done anything other propose Amendments. Banning flag burning takes the cake, but a close second was his half-baked attempt in 2003 to tinker with the guidelines of who can be president as outlined in the Constitution.

Back then, Hatch proposed amending the Constitution to allow foreign-born citizens to run for president. A quick recap, if I may, with some research from the San Francisco Chronicle:

Sen. Orrin Hatch, a Schwarzenegger political friend, proposed allowing anyone who has been a U.S. citizen for 20 years and has resided in the country for 14 years to be elected president. Hatch denies that he proposed the amendment with Schwarzenegger in mind, but it turns out that the 56-year-old actor-businessman was naturalized in 1983. [Emphasis added]

Coincidence? Yea, sure. A little more from Hatch:

"I believe the time has now come to address the antiquated provision of the Constitution that requires our president to be a natural-born citizen," Hatch said. Hatch spokeswoman Margarita Tapia denied the proposal had anything to do with Schwarzenegger, who has raised money for Hatch. "It was a policy judgment. We didn't do it with one specific person in mind, " she said Monday.

Fucking liars. But, I digress.

Back to the issue at hand, and that's Hatch's idea to ban the burning of the American flag. When asked the day before yesterday if he thought this was the most important thing the Senate could be debating, Hatch deadpanned, "You're darn right." Really, Orrin?

Maybe you've heard of: the war in Iraq, exploding deficits, our porous borders, immigration problems, our deteriorating environment, stem cell research, energy problems, etc. I could go on and on. But this is what our leadership in Congress elects to spend its time on? Why am I not surprised?

Hatch continued, and I QUOTE:

"Bringing it up at this time is not an election year ploy. We have Democrats and Republicans who feel deeply about this issue. It is bipartisan. Last time we brought it up was the year 2000."

Was there an election that year, Orrin? And it's worth noting that yes, some Democrats supported this Constitutional Amendment proposal, and that's because they are pussies - too afraid of being painted as unpatriotic for not supporting such a measure. (Or perhaps it could be "not supporting the troops," it just depends on what the Republican slogan du jour is.)

Here's a pretty big issue Congress could be spending its time on - how about Hurricane Katrina fraud? How is it that some assholes of unspeakable morals and ethics always find a way to defraud our government, victims, and ultimately, taxpayers, in times of national crisis? And how is it that our government never seems sage enough to prevent it? 9-11 is the most horrifying example, but Katrina is the latest, to the tune of about $2 billion. Federal prosecutors estimate they will be prosecuting Katrina fraud for the next 6-8 years.

Take a look...

...at all of these new mobile homes that the government has spent $600 million on to purchase for Katrina homeless. I'm so proud that my government has procured these mobile homes to gather so much rust. They sit at this site, while people continue to struggle in New Orleans, many without homes. You're doin' a heckuva job, Dubya, a heckuva job.

***

On to wedge issue number 2, and that's gay marriage. Again, I turn to cartoon for laughter, and to finely illustrate my point:

Ahh, I could probably stop typing right here, and that cartoon says it all. Hell, all DNC Chairman Howard Dean needs to do is make this the slogan of the Democrats: "Republicans - the party that tried to write hate and intolerance INTO the Constitution." Yea, that would just about do it.

This is yet another election-year ploy to fire up the radical religious right. The only mystery about it this time is whether this trite red herring will be enough to distract right wingers into voting for a party that has failed miserably on so many fronts, or will this tried-and-true tactic of distraction work magic for Bush and his minions once again? Funny how we didn't hear much about gay marriage last year, but in the spring of 2004 it was an issue of vital importance.

I'm not going to trot out statistic after statistic about gay marriage and straight marriage again. The numbers are convincing, but there are some on the right who will never let go of the idea that homosexuality is for beasts and devil worshippers. And I have nothing but all the contempt and scorn in the world for people who believe that, most of whom have probably never even known a gay person.

How funny is it that the Department of Defense still classifies homosexuality as a mental disorder? That's something that mental health professionals stopped doing back in the 1960s. Hey, some year our government is bound to catch up.

***

The third wedge issue that the Republicans are trotting out to tremendous PR effect, because it's on the lips of many people at water coolers every Monday morning, is our language.

Aah, I love the smell of xenophobia in the morning. I heard similar sentiments like the one above come out of the mouths of many of my relatives this past weekend when we were all gathered at my aunt's house after my Nan passed away.

This hysteria that's sweeping the nation about English and Spanish is comical. Ohmygod! Unthinkable! Americans learn a second language, get cultured, and be open minded? The fucking planet could stop rotating and we could all fall off the other side.

Hey, this just in, you agents of intolerance - Latinos are now the number one minority in America (or will be by the beginning of next year, they are neck and neck with African-Americans). Imagine these same intolerant people in 1863:

"Niggers? Free?!? What are we going to do next, allow them to vote?!?"

Okay, a bit dramatic, but the connection isn't too obscure. I find people who oppose a bilingual society just about as offensive as the N word in the above paragraph.

So, Republicans are now trying to capitalize on this wedge issue, too, declaring that English is the official language of the United States. Wow, thanks, geniuses. I guess bilingual signs signal the impending collapse of civilization. I ask you, what would be so horrible about a bilingual society?

Need an example of a bilingual society that works? How about we look to Canada? In many parts of that country, there are bilingual signs.

What's so horrible about that? What's more, we have many bilingual signs here in America, too, and you may not have even noticed them, nor cared about them until politicians started beating the drums of intolerance. Here's one you probably see every time you are in a shopping mall or restaurant:

Know what? I actually like having signs like these around. They help me learn a language, Spanish, that any American who hopes to be successful this century will have to know. Put our having a bilingual society to a vote tomorrow, and I vote yes, just like I'd vote yes to gay marriage, and an absolute no fucking way to banning flag burning.

I'm sick to death of Republicans and their agents of intolerance on the right shoving their morality down the throats of us all. You see examples of it every day - in addition to the three wedge issues above, the "War on Christmas", "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance (that phrase was added in 1954 by a Republican controlled Congress - it wasn't even in the original version), The FCC dramatically increasing fines for people uttering swear words that I hear every day on the street, etc.

Hey Republicans, this is not a Christian nation, and God is not a Republican. Pick up a history book and you'll quickly find out - this nation was founded on religious freedom, not religious freedom as long as you are a Christian. Deal with it. I'm sick to death of Republicans getting election year amnesia by forgetting the Bill of Rights, which guarantee me the right to express my opinion and say what I like. Hey, Congressional Republicans - fuck you.

Why not get a prescription?

How hilarious. Will this bloated dumb ass ever learn? Seems Rush Limbaugh was arrested on his way back from the Dominican Republic with several medications with him, and at least one he did not have a prescription for - Viagra.

What's worse, I'm sure he'll get a pass, because he's, well, Rush Limbaugh. I wonder what would have happened to any common man or woman if they were caught with all of the Oxy that Rush had, and now with another prescription that isn't his? Forget the humor that it's Viagra - it's still a 'script that isn't his. His excuse? "They weren't for me." Um, yea, sure - doesn't just about every person caught with drugs say that? And not only that, but how stupid is this guy? He's got all the money in the world, and he's bringin' drugs back from the Dominican Republic? Why? To save a few bucks? Hey, his financial affairs and decisions are none of my business, but it's everyone's business if this dick gets out of these charges... again.

Perhaps he could send someone else to get his drugs. His housekeeper, perhaps? Wait, he tried that one already.

My favorite part of this whole story is his explanation and half-baked joke on his radio program. "I bought them in the Clinton Library gift shop!" he deadpanned. Dude, the '90s are over, and the Clinton jokes should be, too. Hey, pretty soon it will be 2008, and you'll have another Democratic Presidential Nominee to slander.

The City of Brotherly Flood

Man, is it getting ugly on the Schuylkill River. Today, I took a quick tour of the Art Museum area, and what I saw was quite a sight to behold. This morning I heard on the news that the river will reach historic highs - higher than it has ever been in recorded history. That's saying a lot, when you consider Hurricane Agnes in '72 and Floyd in '99.

Schuylkill is an Indian word meaning "hidden stream," because the origins of the river are not easily defined; there's not one definitive source like a bay or reservoir - it's a series of springs. Well, there's nothing hidden about the river now. Take a look. ...



Above is a view of the Schuylkill River flowing by Boathouse Row (top) and the Philadelphia Water Works (foreground).



Check out the river in pictures I took earlier today. Yikes! And it's expected to rise higher and higher and crest sometime early Thursday, but the river will take days to recede. More photos...



Boathouse Row. There'll be no rowing anytime soon.



A view of the Spillway from Martin Luther King Jr. Drive (formerly West River Drive). Grrrr! Angry river.



Another view of the Spillway from the Water Works side of the river.



These giant upcurrents (I don't know what else to call them - if it were air it would be an updraft) appear over and over about 100 feet or so past the dam. Translation: anything that gets thrown over the spillway either gets caught in the undercurrent right by the dam or gets sucked under and pulled along the bottom until it reaches this point. This is the number one lesson about why to never swim near a dam. If, heaven forbid, someone came over the dam when the water is this high? Death.



Yet another view from the Water Works side of the river. I watched this giant tree get slammed over the spillway, roiling in the spillway's strong currents and getting banged against the dam before drifting in front of me and down in front of the Water Works. The power of the current that the spillway generates during high water is remarkable.



This is a view looking up near the spillway - there were lots of people out gawking and taking pictures today.



The trash that the currents swept up near the Water Works. It's tough to comprehend all of the crap that floats by when you stand and watch the river. I counted 25 tires, an infinite number of plastic bottles and balls of all sorts, hundreds of huge stumps and limbs, a Playmate cooler, and an enormous propane tank that probably belonged to a mobile home or large house, 3 doors and a whole set of steps. And this was all in only about 45 minutes time. The depressing thing about all of this? It's all headed to the ocean. Hey, a flood is a flood, and it's usually unexpected and poorly prepared for, but it really saddens me to see so many plastic bottles needlessly headed toward the ocean. Yet another reason for all of us to redouble our recycling efforts.

One brave family

I've already talked a bit about my grandmother's death. Almost as tough as watching her literally take her last breaths was watching my nieces and nephews through it all (to say nothing of my mom, brothers and the rest of my family).



This was my oldest nephew Zac's first experience with losing a grandparent, and the little guy was brave. He was crying at the funeral home, but I'm glad he didn't see Nan in the coffin - he just saw pictures of her on top of the casket. He was close to Nan, and I'm sure he will miss her dearly. I'll always remember his brave face this weekend, and how my grandmother would light up whenever he came over to visit.



Nan with my oldest niece, Emily. Nan had a special bond with Em - her first great grandchild. She spent lots and lots of time at Nan's house, and I know in my heart that Nan loved every minute of it. Em is a good kid and a real sweetheart, and I know that seeing Nan in her final days was very hard, but Em loved her so much she wanted to be there. She was so brave and so devoted to her Nan, like we all were, but Em showed it, especially in the really tough days last week.

I'm very proud of all of my nieces and nephews and how they were during a very tough situation. I just single out Emily and Zac because they are the oldest, and they were the most aware about what was going on around them. So, it was hardest on them.

I loved my grandmother so much, these words are difficult to type. How do you even begin to quantify the love of a grandmother in a single paragraph? It was a priveledge and an honor to be by her bedside in her final days with us - I couldn't possibly repay all of the love she has given me over the years, but hopefully I showed her how much she meant to me. It's easy to beat yourself up after someone you love so deeply passes, and I have: "I should have called more, could have visited more, should have told her I loved her one more time," etc. But, she knew, and she knows, how much she meant to me. Holding her hands and peppering her forehead with kisses as she lay striken in bed was the easiest and most important thing I've ever done for someone in my family.

The night before she died, at about 3 a.m. I lowered the rail on her bed and put my head next to hers on the pillow - I wanted it to be like old times when I used to stay over and we'd fall asleep watching our Saturday night shows. What I'd give to just have one more of those Saturday nights. I was her little Russell, and she was my Nan. I could do no wrong or very rarely, & when I did, it was my mom's fault :o) Sorry mom! She grew all the more remarkable in my eyes as I grew older, talking to her about World War II and her life in general.

Right before Nan passed, as Em was leaving, she said with tears streaming down her face, "I just don't want her to forget me." That was heartbreaking for me to hear. Of course she won't, Em. She's smiling down on all of us.

One final slapshot to the mouth

Talk about a shitty week. First I travel all the way to Raleigh to watch the Oilers lose game 7 (But it was still a sensational, memorable time that I'll always cherish and never forget). After the game I find out my grandmother has had a stroke. I rush home Tuesday and go up to see my grandmother midday on Wednesday and she dies early Friday morning. I'm still dealing with her loss and will be for a long time. I didn't love my grandmother any more than I did my other grandmothers, but I had a special bond with her, and in many ways I was a little too shocked to really break down and sob like I felt doing inside. Anyway, I was with my family all weekend and come home late yesterday evening.

This morning, just to get my mind off of my grandmom and my grief, I go to an Oilers fan Website, OilFans.com, and I read that the Oilers best player, Chris Pronger, wants out of Edmonton. Greeeeat.

I'm not equating sports with my Nan's death. Far from it. Sports is trivial on a good day and family means everything. But this was another chink in the armor today. Unreal. Often, I watch sports for a bit of an escape from everyday life; when your team does well, it lifts you up, and when they lose, you're just a bit down. That's the tradeoff. The older I get, I realize that you have to truly cherish a championship when your favorite team(s) wins one, because it's never a given that it will happen in any given year, or ever.

I know, I know, I promised no more hockey, but I had to vent about Pronger wanting out. This is going to be very difficult for the Oilers to overcome. No way Edmonton even gets to the second round in the just-concluded playoffs with no #44. Now, he'll be gone.



It sure looked like Pronger was stoked to be an Oiler (and a successful one here after scoring a goal in the playoffs, above). He had signed a four-year deal, had begun to build a house in Edmonton, and it looked like the Oilers were building something pretty good, too; coming one win away from a Stanley Cup.



As it turned out, Prongers return to Edmonton after game 7 (above) was hello... and goodbye. To be honest, this makes me resent the game 7 loss all the more and just deepens my disappointment. The Oilers were THIS close. And now they feel so far away, and the offseason has just started.



This guy, #47, defenseman Marc Andre Bergeron, will always be the guy that lost us the Cup. He pushed a Carolina player into Conn Smythe candidate Dwayne Roloson in game 1 of the series vs. Carolina, ruining our Cup chances. Yes, the Oilers came back and tied the series, but the odds were against us. I think even the most ardent of Edmonton haters would agree that the Oilers could have won at least one more game with Roloson in net. Nice job, Bergeron. The only way he vindicates himself? By lifting the Stanley Cup next year during a parade route through Edmonton. And those odds look a helluva lot longer now. Now, I'm not taking away from Carolina's Cup - they earned it and won it fair and square, no *. Injuries are part of the game, but injuring your own player is a bad idea, especially when it's your best player, and your starting goalie, no less.

Oiler GM Kevin Lowe certainly has his work cut out for him. He did a masterful job putting the Oilers together to make a highly improbable Cup run. Now he has to parlay arguably the best defenseman in the league into another very good defenseman, and perhaps some goaltending help. If anyone can do it and get value, no question it's him. Get goin', KLowe. We want the Cup.

I'm on hiatus for a bit

Just wanted to take a minute to let my loyal readers know (all 2 of ya!) that I won't be bloggin' for the next little bit. I have to go say goodbye to my grandmother, Evelyn Olive Allen, who is not doing well.

I've got soooo much to talk to you all about, and I haven't forgotten about reviewing An Inconvenient Truth, a movie I've seen 3 times in the theater. So, I'll be bringing you lots more very soon - probably sometime early to mid week next week.

It's going to be a very difficult next few days.



It seems like just yesterday I was staying over at her house, and she would take me shopping for my favorite treats. We ate lots of goldfish (we called them fishy crackers) and Capt'n Crunch on Sunday mornings. And we watched lots of Love Boat and Fantasy Island on Saturday nights. I'm going to miss you so much, Nan. I love you with all my heart.

Finally, SOMETHING to celebrate...

YES! The Heat captured their first NBA title last night over the Dallas Mavericks. It was awesome and fun to watch - Pat Riley winning his 5th, Shaq his 4th, and, best of all, watching Dwayne "Flash" Wade win his first.



For those of you living in a cave, it's official - Flash is the next big thing in the NBA. The next Kobe, if you will. Sure, LeBron is awesome, but Flash has jewelry now. I've waited 18 years for Miami to win a title, and it was worth the wait.

I became a Heat fan in '88 when I was a junior in high school. To that point, I never was much of a hoops fan, but all of my friends had favorite NBA teams, so I figured it was time for me to get on board. Since I have a penchant for disliking local teams, Philly specifically (and for those of you who don't know, that continues to this day!), I figured I'd pick a new team, so I went with Miami, for two reasons: I liked their logo, the flaming basketball, and until very recently, I always wanted to someday move to Florida. All of these things came together to make me the perfect Heat fan. The team initially showed its appreciation by losing its first 17 games to begin the inaugural season. They've come a long way!



The Diesel has some nice hardware this morning. Nice job, fellas!

Naturally, In all of my excitement, we went to our rooftop deck to celebrate things right. Take a look. ...



Time to holler!



She's lit!



4...



3...



2...



1...



Liftoff! Ummm, canister shells. Now THAT'S a way to celebrate a championship!



I just like this photo. Notice the rubble on the table.



The aftermath. I have to get a tripod so I can get cool sky shots. For those of you reading this who are worried, I'm very careful when I set off any fireworks. I grew up around them, and I don't play games with them. It's just like anything else dangerous - if you are careful and respect what something dangerous can do, you should be fine. Accidents happen from stupidity and ignorance.

Anyway, I thought it was an appropriate way to celebrate a Heat victory... with heat! Imagine what an Oiler Stanley Cup Celebration would have been like?!? Oh well... next season! Looking back, I wish I would have watched more Heat games this year during the regular season and playoffs, but with the Oilers success, that took up a great deal of my time. Hey, I've got just so much time for sports, and hockey is always king. But, I recorded the Heat victory and will burn it to DVD. I love technology!

Sports fans, be warned. This is the year of the RJ team! Next up: The Dallas Cowboys and Boston Red Sox.

The last hockey dispatch!

What a ride it's been. Congratulations to the Carolina Hurricanes - you have one amazing hockey team. I'm so proud to be an Oilers fan - it was an experience I'll never forget, and I'm so happy that I got to go to Carolina for game 7. I won't bore you with commentary or my thoughts on game 7 - I've polluted this blog with enough of that! Just a few memorable pictures. ...

I got Don Cherry, THE most famous hockey personality in Canada, to take a picture with me, AND sign my jersey!

The autograph!

The practice puck that I caught during the game day skate.

Oilers fans are the best. Look at these guys!

I'm sure Jaws is happy the playoffs are over. He's usually an unwilling fanimal. Okay, always.

With a few tweaks and key signings, the Oilers could take this thing next year. One thing's for sure, going into the summer - I can't wait for next season to begin!

Seventh heaven, here we come!

What's Martin Scorsese have to do with hockey? Read on. ...

Look at this bullshit! Some stupid magazine went to press last week with this headline. "The Oilers were down 2-0 in the series, and things were looking great for the Hurricanes. It was my call," was the lame explanation of the magazine's editor in chief. Let's hope the magazine has to eat its words - all 50,000 copies of this magazine. Of course, copies made their way into the Oilers dressing room, but when you get this deep in the playoffs and this close to winning the cup, you'd better not need extra motivation to win.

After Saturday's 4-0 drubbing of the Hurricanes, the Oilers have a chance to truly stand alone in modern NHL history as the first and only team since the '42 Maple Leafs to come back from 3-1 to win the Cup. Blah blah blah - I've blogged about all the rest.

Before the game, I just have to single out #8 on the Canes, Matt Cullen. When an Oiler player, and I think it was Jarret Stoll, lost his glove on the way to the bench Saturday night, Cullen took a whack at his bare hand during Saturday night's game. That's Bush League, and a player like that doesn't deserve to win the Stanley Cup. But, there's a thing called karma. Maybe it'll bite him, maybe it won't. Either way, Cullen is a pussy.

Speaking of deserving to win the Cup, one more thought on that. In my view, no one deserves to win the Cup - you earn it. Okay, I'll admit, players in this series who have been in the league a long time with no ring to show for it deserve to be a part of a winner, but a Cup isn't awarded, it's earned. For instance, Martin Scorsese deserves to win a Best Picture Oscar, but it hasn't happened yet. (Dances With Wolves over Goodfellas, anyone? What a laughable travesty.)

So enough with the "So and So deserves to win a Cup" stuff. And before I finish on that thought, I have to take a good-natured ribbing at my Flyer buds - they are rooting for the Canes because three former Flyers are on the club - Brind'Amour (still the ugliest player in hockey), Justin Williams and Mark Recchi. How does it feel, boys, to be reduced to rooting for former Flyers on another team because "Clarkie" wasn't smart enough to keep them? Just had to have a little fun there. And don't come back at me with a karma quote about pokin' fun - even if the Oilers lose, I'm already soooo proud to be a fan of the team for all they've already accomplished - they're already winners and heroes in my book.

So, which captain gets the glass slipper on Monday? Of course, it's the captain of the Oilers, Jason Smith. I boasted before game 6 (Vandra is my witness!) - "No way the Oilers let a visiting team win the Cup on home ice." I was right. My next prediction...

The Oilers have hit their stride, and they will hang a 6th, white championship banner at Rexall Place on opening night of the 2006-2007 NHL season. Oilers take the Cup tomorrow night, 4-2.

I still believe, and tomorrow... Validation.