Anna Nicold ~ how will I go on?

Anna Nicole Smith, 39, a professional gold digger, Playboy Centerfold and pop culture punchline, is dead. I'm not going to spend much time on this one, because really, I couldn't care less. I don't want to crap on the dead, but with all of the things that are going on in the world around us, this is what dominated the news all day today?

Sigh.

Listen - as I was telling Vandra - I didn't give a squat about Smith when she was alive, but now I'm supposed to be all politically correct with faux grief, i.e. - "Did you hear Anna Nicole Smith died? That's awful!" Um, no.

I don't have any information to confirm my beliefs, but I'm willing to bet that her death wasn't simply from natural causes. Maybe one of her silicon sweater puppets leaked, and the goo traveled up to her brain.

The debate will rage for years, if not decades, over how the former stripper, whose real name was Vickie Lynn Hogan, will be remembered. In other words, just like Elvis before her, the question must be settled - when will she be commemorated on a postage stamp, and what image will be used? These are the real issues that matter here. A few samples, if you please...

The slim, trim, attractive Anna Nicole, or...

...this Anna Nicole? Let the debate begin. I'm sure both camps have already dug in their heels at the highest levels of the USPS over how to depict the former Playboy Centerfold on a postage tramp.

In the meantime, I saw on the news that her burial site has been selected...







Sadly, the funeral will be closed to the press.

Okay, okay, lighten up - I can hear a few of you saying to yourselves, "RJ, that's going too far." It's a joke! And this was a woman who was in the spotlight for (mostly) the wrong reasons, so yes, jokes should be allowed. Smith had breasts the size of small children, and to get them, she had so much artificial material in her that she could have been mistaken for a Fembot. Okay, I'll stop.

Anyway, rest in peace in that big trailer park in the sky, Anna. And get your hands out of John D. Rockefeller's pocket!