A simple guide to serving & dining out
You know you're a server when.....
1. You know that "in the weeds" or "weeded" is NOT a camping term (camping means something different - read on).
2. You can't decide who you hate more: kids, old people, teenagers, or foreigners. Basically, name a minority to a server, a complaint isn't hard to come up with. (Oh, and I can't forget about the white trash - it's not a race issue - it's a class issue.) As I've often said - waiting tables will destroy your faith in humanity.
3. You're miffed if you got a $10 tip on a $60 check.
4. You can figure out 20 percent like nobody's business.
5. You heavily debate putting on a gratuity for a big party. And may call in a second opinion to evaluate the table.
6. You're familiar with the signature cocktail: water with lemon. (Can I have more lemons, please?)
7. It's easy to forget the soup of the day, and sometimes you'll say the wrong soup for the wrong day.
8. When you go out to eat, you over analyze everything your server does. And even if they screw up, you still tip at least 20 percent.
9. You hang out at the server table.
10. You know what the most dreaded side work is and how to avoid getting stuck with it.
11. Same goes for the death section.
12. You understand the importance of booths.
13. You know that an over-cooked steak is the worst re-fire ever.
14. You want to kill the kitchen when they have 30-minute ticket times.
15. You will take the long way around just to avoid a "problem" table.
16. You hate making desserts, or waiting for them.
17. You get weeded waiting for the bar to pour you a freakin' beer, and the worst ever is when a keg needs to be changed.
18. You live out of your car.
19. You always have cash on you, yet you're always broke.
20. Your cash is usually still in your book days after you worked.
21. You never know what happened to the wine key.
22. You become a nocturnal creature.
23. Everybody on a Sunday a.m. shift has a hangover. (I used to refer to Advil as "Sunday morning candy.")
24. The busser is never around when you need him.
25. Getting cut does not equal getting out.
26. You need a manager card to wipe your ass!
27. A mis-ring is always appreciated by starving servers.
28. And you're all like a bunch of vultures when it happens!
29. When in doubt, ring it medium.
30. You use the term 86 in regular conversation. Yet you have no idea where it came from.
31. Worst of all, if you forget to ring an order and don't remember what it is, you convince another server to go to the table to use the "printer in the kitchen isn't working - what is your order again?" trick. Works almost every time.
And if you haven't seen this next section before, you need to pass it along.
For all of you who don't wait tables - if you go out to eat, READ ON!
HOW TO TIP
An easy way to calculate a tip: take 10 percent of the total price of the ticket and then double it. $50.00 tab = $5.00 x 2 = $10.00 would be a good tip. Those tip calculators always crack me up that people carry with them to restaurants. Calculate 20 percent and deduct a few bucks if the server wasn't all that hot.
The next time you're out eating at a restaurant, look at your server. Do you think he or she is really happy to have that job? The answer is no, your server didn't grow up saying "I want to wait tables when I get older. But it's what your server is doing, trying to make a living, and that living is from tips. Its a tougher job than you think - please pay your servers for a job well done! Yes, tips are earned, they are never automatic, but if you're happy with your service, kindly show it.
There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants with no any knowledge of how to tip politely. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse, or to read it multiple times and commit it to memory.
1. CHILDREN
If you have children, please, DO NOT let them open and dump anything on the table (i.e. - salt, sugar, etc.). IF YOU DO, leave a little extra for the server to clean up YOUR CHILD'S mess & to restock the now unusable/wasted items. We aren't your kids' babysitter, or their parent. The least you can do is pay us for the extra work. Also make sure you control your kids and don't let them scream or run around the restaurant. It's very distracting and rude to others eating, not to mention dangerous if they get run over by a server carrying hot food. How about a little common courtesy? Sure, you're a parent, and sure, you deserve a night out, too, but that doesn't give you the right to screw up the night of everyone around you because you didn't have the decency to teach your children manners. My mother was "old school" - if you didn't behave by sitting up and eating like an adult, she grabbed a fist-full of hair, and the night was over, and quickly.
2. THE CAMPERS
If you feel the necessity to stay for longer than 15 minutes after you pay, its an extra $3 every 30 minutes, or more. We make our money from turning tables. If you are in one and we can't seat it, we don't make money. Not to mention, if you are our last table we have to wait for you to leave before we can leave.
3. COMPLIMENTS:
Telling a server they are the best server they've ever had is not a tip. If we have given you good service, let us know by leaving us more money. Compliments don't pay rent, a car payment or college tuition. It's not that we don't appreciate the praise, its just that if you say that and then leave 10 percent it's an insult.
4. THE SALVATION PAMPHLETS:
Prayer cards and any other religious pamphlet is also not a tip. In fact, if you do leave one, you're an asshole - religion be damned. It is insulting that you assume we are without religion and you must save us. Again, like #3, we can't pay bills w/prayer cards. Some of us would go to church on Sundays if it wasn't mandatory to work every Sunday because EVERYONE who goes to church follows it by eating out. And some of us aren't religious at all - keep your beliefs to yourself. Your definition of saving differs widely from ours - your saving is being obnoxious by spreading your religious beliefs on us; our saving is for food, rent, gas and a car payment.
5. TIPPING:
It is not 1960. The cost of living has gone up dramatically since then. The MINIMUM amount of what you should be tipping your servers for good service is 18 percent. Look at the first number of your bill, i.e. - if your bill is $30, double the 3 & you have a $6 tip. If the second number is more than 5 however, please add a little extra. Remember, our companies pay us the server minimum wage, which in most cases is dramatically lower than the paltry minimum wage for non-tipped employees. (A tipped-employee minimum wage sampling: $6.75 in California, $3.13 in Florida, $3.09 in Iowa, $2.13 in New Jersey, $2.65 in Michigan, $2.15 in Oklahoma, $2.13 in Texas and $2.83 in Pennsylvania. And for those of you who think servers in California are living large, try living in California on minimum wage and tips and see how you make out).
Servers are taxed on 10 percent of your meal automatically, anyway - thanks to the Internal Revenue Service. So if your meal is $100 and you leave $10 and we tip out $4-5 to the busser, bartender, and whoever else we are required to tip out to by our restaurant, then we pay tax on 10 dollars and we make $5. It seems small but it adds up. How many times do you eat out per week and do this?
6. THE COMPLAINERS:
If you get a discount because your food was prepared wrong or something, please do not take it out of our tip. We didn't cook it. The cooks get paid hourly regardless of whether your food sucks (and cooks in leading restaurants can make some very nice money, by the way - not that they don't earn it). However, servers only make what you give us. Our hourly wage? It doesn't even cover our taxes. If it's a busy restaurant, often at the end of the year servers owe taxes to the IRS, thanks to a paltry minimum wage and people who tip 10 percent.
7. THE FREE STUFF:
If you happen to get anything for free and you did not have a problem with your dining experience, most of the time it is because the server thinks you will realize that they are giving it to you for free. (Free drinks, or if a server lobbies a manager to give you free dessert, appetizer, etc. because you DID indicate you were unhappy with something.) There should be extra tip thanking the server for the free item. They could get in a lot of trouble giving away free stuff. Give 'em hazard pay for it.
8. THE LATE ONES:
If you come into the restaurant 10 minutes before closing or any time near closing, hurry up and order your food and get out. Closed means closed, not social hour. It is so rude to sit there and take your sweet ass time. We can't leave until you leave because we have to do side work and clean the table you are sitting at. We don't want to stand there waiting for you for an extra hour just because you don't want to go home. We recommend 24-hour establishments, such as Denny's or Perkin's, if you wish to sit into the wee hours of the night.
9. THE TABLE HOGGERS:
If you only come in for coffee or a dessert, to do paper work, or to have a meeting, don't sit there taking up our booths for hours. We are not Starbucks or a hotel restaurant. If you want to sit for hours, go there, or else you should leave a good tip for us, camping fee included.
10. THE GREET:
When we come up to the table to greet you and we ask how you are doing, please let us know. We honestly want to know how you are doing. And ask us how we are doing as well. It's called manners. If you are in a bad mood we want to know that from jump. (Are you unhappy about something so far? Is there anything I can do to make it better?) A confused stare or complete silence does not suffice as a reply to "How are you doing?" Also, most of us are REQUIRED to say certain things during the greeting, so please don't interrupt our greeting and say "I want coffee," or "Can we get some bread?" or "What are the soups?" Just sit tight and shut up for a minute - let us talk. We have to. You're not helping us out by stopping our greet, you are just irritating us. Is that 30 seconds really going to make a difference?
11. THOSE DAMN CELL PHONES:
Don't ever talk on your cell phone in a restaurant. This is probably the rudest thing to do while eating out - common thieves and street walkers have more manners. If you absolutely must take a call, at least keep your voice down in respect for other customers, or (GASP!) step outside for a minute. If you are on your cell when we walk up to greet your table, we will walk away and not return until you get off your phone. Just show some respect and give us your attention for a few minutes. Oh, take off your wireless ear piece while dining out. Despite what your friends tell you to your face, you look like a jackass. Don't be a Blue Tool.
12. "I WANT A DIFFERENT TABLE"
When you're taken to a table, sit there. There's a reason you were taken to that table and it's because that server is next on the rotation. If you prefer a certain table, section, window seat, etc., specify that to the host/hostess BEFORE they walk you to your table!! Don't wait till they get to the VERY back of the restaurant then ask "can we have a booth?" or "Can we sit by the window?" No. The reason you weren't sat by the window or in a booth is most likely because the server by the window or the server with the booths just got sat and you will receive better service if you stay put. If you ask BEFOREHAND, the hostess has time to sit you accordingly. They have time to find you a table where you will be happy to sit AND receive good service!
13. THE WAVERS:
If you wave at your server or try to talk to him or her while he or she is talking to another table or carrying a huge tray, you will be ignored. Servers have other people besides you to take care of, and unless they are standing still or hanging out by a computer, they are doing something. It is rude to think they will stop what they are doing for one table just to come help you. Do not grab, or wave, or shake your glass, or call your server "ma'am" or "waiter" or any other pet-name you can come up with because you were on your cell, or talking, or interrupted the initial greet when your server told you his or her name!
14. TAKE-AWAY OR TO-GOS:
Always remember to tip the take-out order servers. They work just as hard as a server, and hardly ever get tips for it.
15: THE BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION
(Of course, this is wishful thinking.) One of the stupidest traditions ever started in a restaurant is making us sing like nodding donkeys to your kid for his/her birthday. We are happy that you chose our restaurant to spend your hard-earned money. We really are. But honestly, we don't care that it's your birthday, and the other diners in the restaurant reeeally don't care. Do you want to entertain your kids on their birthday? Hire a clown. Your grandmother? Hire a male stripper.
16: COPPING AN ATTITUDE WITH US IS A BAAAD IDEA
(And this is really number one.) People who cop an attitude with someone who is handling their food are just flat-out foolish. Do I really need to explain it more than that? There are many people less ethical than me who wouldn't hesitate to, let's say, mishandle your food. There are a million ways to screw someone with an attitude, and trust me, you don't even want to know any more than that.
17: FREE REFILLS DOES NOT = I'M YOUR PERSONAL SLAVE
Many restaurants have free refills, so of course you're entitled to have your parched, dehydrated body's thirst slaked, but that doesn't mean I'm your personal slave. If you are that thirsty, you'd better see a doctor. For further tips about free refills, see #16. Just because your drink is bottomless, doesn't mean your server's patience is.
18: DIDN'T YOUR PARENTS TEACH YOU NOT TO LIE?
If you ordered a hamburger, you get a hamburger. Once it hits the table, don't look at us with a straight face and say "I ordered the cheeseburger." No, you didn't. We have server books to write things down so we don't make those mistakes. Servers make mistakes, but so do people when ordering their food, too. It's not the end of the world. Relax. There are people dying in Iraq each and every day - you really are going to live if you have to wait a few more minutes for your burger.
And finally, enjoy your meal. Realize that mistakes get made by the wait staff and the cooks in the kitchen. But, in the end, we want to make it right. After all, again, everyone is happy you chose to eat where you did. In the end, if a serious error has been made, you're going to eat for free if the restaurant gives two craps at all about your business (and the successful ones do), and how often do you get to eat out for free? Despite this, some people would rather sit at a table with sour looks on their faces than to get another item remade, for free. Don't be that person.
Labels: Serving Tables, Tipping
posted by RJ at 4:43 PM
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