Cyber Monday as good as... Hyundai

I'll admit it, I bought into the hype. For about two seconds. Today is the media-fabricated Cyber Monday, a day when online retailing giants supposedly offer such magnificent deals that we'll all whip out our credit cards and start furiously pecking in the numbers, like obedient freaking droids.

Just out of curiosity, I did a little searching this morning for bargains, both at my favorite online retailers, and in my inbox, which is getting flooded with mediocre (at best) deals, such as "Free Shipping With All Orders Over $75!" Whee.

After only a few clicks at the Web sites of Best Buy, Staples, J.Crew, Macy's and Gap, it didn't take me long to surmise that today, these stores are bores. I found much better deals on Black Friday, the busiest shopping day of the year. I don't know where Cyber Monday ranks, but in '05 it wasn't even in the top 10 in online sale days.

I worked in retail long enough to know this - if you're having a sale, then have a sale. Offering me free shipping isn't going to feed the bulldog. And for heaven's sakes, come up with a better name. Cyber Monday reminds me of cyber stalking. For that matter, anything with the name cyber in front of it sucks big time.

Like all of the supposed sales I'm seeing online today.