Yet another reason why I don't buy the Inky

Like an old hemorrhoid, every once in a while former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum flares back up to irritate most. (At right, a defeated Santorum concedes on election night in '06 after losing to Sen. Bob Casey. And NO, it never gets old running this picture.) What's worse, Santorum is now a columnist for The Philadelphia Inquirer, thanks to the brilliant Brian Tierney, the former GOP activist hack who now runs the paper. Tierney couldn't get Republicans elected, so now he lets GOP losers spew their garbage on the once proud editorial pages of the Inky. Tierney couldn't even come up with a winning strategy to beat former Philadelphia Mayor John F. Street in an election, one of the worst mayors this city has ever seen. So, that's the intellectual capacity we're dealing with here, but I digress.

Anyway, after first publicly stating that he couldn't possibly support John McCain - SURPRISE! - now Santorum has decided to support McCain, quite simply because he has no other choice. From yesterday's Philadelphia Inquirer:

I've disagreed with [McCain] on immigration, global warming and federal protection of marriage. I've taken strong exception to his view that the federal government should fund embryonic stem-cell research. But disagreement on such issues is one of the reasons we have presidential primaries - so each party's voters can sort out the issues and personalities and choose the candidate who best reflects their collective view. Republicans have done that. Now the question for conservatives is whether McCain fits the Reagan Axiom that someone you agree with on 80 percent of the issues is your friend, not your enemy.

Of all the issues confronting the United States today, none is more important than our nation's security. Although these issues don't dominate our news as they once did, we cannot forget that without a safe and secure country, all other issues don't matter.

McCain is clearly the candidate with the capacity, judgment, experience and will to confront America's enemies. He's served our country honorably - heroically - in war. I served eight years with him on the Senate Armed Services Committee, and I can assure you he knows our military. Importantly, he also knows our enemies. He understands their capabilities and their aims. He will not sugarcoat the human or financial commitment and cost needed to defeat this enemy.

[Snip]

Those conservatives who still question whether they can support McCain should remember this: The next president will make more than 2,700 political appointments, those who really set policy, across the bureaucracy of our government. I, for one, will sleep better at 3 a.m. if Republicans are in the cabinet and in White House positions that make so many critical decisions. The idea of "Attorney General John Edwards" and "Energy Secretary Al Gore" should cause some sleepless nights for Republicans or conservatives - and those in a U.S. manufacturing sector now struggling to stay afloat.

Here's my final argument for John McCain. He's not Barack Obama or Hillary Clinton.

Both Democrats have made their case in chief on why they should be president, and we have every reason to be concerned.

Both want to cut and run from Iraq, give the radical jihadists a victory from the jaws of defeat, and leave the Iraqi people vulnerable to chaos. Both would put in place dangerous economic policies that would make Uncle Sam look like an Orwellian Big Brother. Both would nominate liberal activist judges who would pass undemocratic laws from the bench. Both support one-size-fits-all health-care policies that have been a disaster for patients and medical industries in Canada. Good-bye, American capitalism; hello, European-style socialism.

Pretty impressive, actually - Santorum hit on all of the GOP clichés in a very short amount of time - uni health care being socialism, his concerns about stem cell research and (of course) gay marriage, but most of all, a pinch of fear mongering when it comes to terrorism and keeping us safe. Oh, and some brown nosing about McCain's military record never hurts, either. And, what prominent Republican can write any political column without mentioning Iraq, and how Democrats want to "cut and run"? Psst - hey Rick - that phrase is about as passé as your reputation as a "rising star" in the Republican Party.

However, my favorite line of Santorum's whole piece was this one:

The idea of "Attorney General John Edwards" and "Energy Secretary Al Gore" should cause some sleepless nights for Republicans or conservatives - and those in a U.S. manufacturing sector now struggling to stay afloat.

Two things: First, as if "Attorney General John Edwards" would be any worse than John Ashcroft, Alberto Gonzales or Michael Mukasey? Puleeze. What is understood, needn't be discussed. And the same goes for "Energy Secretary Al Gore"; as if he would be any worse than Spencer Abraham, Samuel Bodman, or worse yet, Dick Cheney, who, along with energy company and Big Oil execs, have all been writing this administration's energy "policy" for the last 7+ years. Clearly, Santorum must think that Inquirer readers are stupid. Perhaps that's why he's "former" Senator Santorum.

And secondly, I sense a little boot licking going on here as well. It certainly isn't hard to imagine Santorum getting a plum position in McCain's cabinet, especially the more slick Rick shills for McSame on the editorial page of Pennsylvania's most well-known newspaper. What's more, McBush must carry Pa. if he hopes to move to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, so any bones Santorum throws McCain's way won't go unnoticed, or unappreciated.

Am I suggesting that Santorum's change of "heart" (assuming he has one) is politically motivated?

Absolutely.