Let's bid these a not-so-fond farewell

Now that the election is over, here are a few phrases, words and people I could go, oh, the rest of my life without hearing about or from, ever again. ...

• My friends!

• Straight Talk (These two are probably toast, as the sun is setting on McCain's political career. He may run for reelection in '10, but that'll be about it).

• You betchya!

• Joe the Plumber, or Joe Six-Paayack, or Joe _______. Why oh why does the media have to dwell on these inane sayings in every election? I still remember Al Gore's "lock box" and George W. Bush's "fuzzy math" from 2000 - they were every bit as annoying. Happily, most of these fade from memory.

• Hockey Mom (Is Palin really a hockey mom, by the way? Which one of her kids plays hockey? I don't think any of them do, but I might be wrong. And I don't care enough to go find out.)

• Change

• Hope (See? These aren't all from the Republican ticket, either)

• I'm ___________, and I approve this message.

• Bill Ayers (No one cared during the election, and most certainly no one cares now)

• Jeremiah Wright (See Bill Ayers). Bill Maher put it best last week - only stupid Republicans could accuse Obama of being a Muslim while simultaneously accusing him of being indoctrinated by Wright for 20 years, in a Christian church.

• Swing State

• Undecideds

• Lipstick, Pit Bulls & all of that associated crap

• First Dude (Beyond stupid)

• Flag Pins

• Madrassa

• Socialist (Okay, so some of these are wishful thinking, and will no doubt return like an ugly cold sore in '10 and '12, but it doesn't hurt to wish, does it?)

• Maverick - McDrilly stopped being one of these about a decade ago, if he ever was one.

• Pork - This sounded great for the voters, but McCain has voted for his share ($700 billion bailout bill, anyone?), and Palin's middle name is Pork, something the corporate media willfully ignored.

• Drill, Baby, Drill - What a perverse joke played on the American people by Palin. We couldn't drill our way to energy independence if we had five times the amount of oil we have in Alaska and the Outer Continental Shelf, but Sarah Stupid never let facts get in the way, and the press sure as hell didn't force her to. She wants to drill because it boosts her popularity ten-fold in her home state; residents get a share of the profits in the form of a fat check every year from all of the oil pumped out of the ground. Speaking of which, Alaska is a shining example of socialism - spreading the money around to Alaskan citizens. I guess if I lived up there, I'd want to drill in ANWR, too - it would merely fatten my check every year.

• Bristol, Trig, Track, Frig, Twig and Tweedle, or whatever the hell the Palins decided to name their kids. Poor bastards.

• Elizabeth Dole - Go help your husband use his Viagra, you hate mongering, mean-spirited wench. I haven't hooted and hollered this much over a politician's career going in the toilet since Newt Gingrich. Or Tom DeLay.

• Ted Stevens - He won't serve any time in jail, but his Senate career is over. Boo Hoo - he was and is a big proponent of a "tiered Internet," and he was also a poster boy for pork. But, thanks to his (maybe) narrow victory in the Alaska U.S. Senate race, we may have to endure Sarah Palin in the Senate. That will be high comedy.

• And lastly, Palin herself. I can't remember anyone in my lifetime who has been less qualified to be on a presidential ticket. Even Dan Quayle gave interviews and could at least spout off his party talking points. Okay, he couldn't spell, but still, you get the point.

Speaking of Palin, I've got some great video I'll post in a bit.