Kerry the comedian

What a crazy 48 hours its been in U.S. politics. It certainly is the silly season in Washington, as it is before every election, and this one is no different.

How's that shoe leather tasting, Senator Kerry? What an unforgivable gaffe, just in time for the '06 elections. For those of you living in a cave, here's what Kerry said during a campaign stop on Monday:

Kerry told students at Pasadena City College in California, "You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

On Tuesday, the rhetoric heated up, with Kerry taking shots at White House Press Secretary Tony Snow and Bush; and both returned the fire in kind. A combative Kerry refused to apologize, which only encourages the blood-thirsty, sound-bite obsessed press. The media treated the gaffe as if Kerry had just urinated on the Lincoln Memorial while lighting an original copy of the Constitution on fire.

Kerry should have apologized right away, but a small part of me dug the fact that he didn't take criticism sitting down, specifically from quick-to-pounce Republicans, whose prospects do not look good this coming Tuesday.

Following Kerry's flub, Snow remarked, "Senator Kerry not only owes an apology to those who are serving, but also to the families of those who've given their lives in this. This is an absolute insult."

Kerry, upon hearing Snow's remarks, was apoplectic. Responding to reporters, Kerry said, "This is the classic GOP playbook. I'm sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did. I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium."

Where the hell was this Kerry in 2004 in the face of the laughable swift boat attacks? I'm sure glad this combative Kerry reported for duty in the face of this red herring, one week before a hyper-critical election.

Kerry explained that he flubbed an intended joke aimed at President Bush's handling of the Iraq War. Kerry's aides said he had mistakenly dropped one word from his prepared remarks, which was originally written to say "you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq." In that context, they said, it was clear Kerry was referring to Bush, not to the troops.

Fair enough, at least in my eyes (and probably many others, who realize that there are about 1,000 more important things we need to be worrying about right now than a tone-deaf, bumbling senator), but not in the eyes of the GOP smear and fear machine.

Bush called Kerry's comments "insulting" and "shameful" and said Kerry owed an apology to the U.S. military.

Judas John McCain was also quick to pounce, saying Kerry owed the troops an apology. So was Dick Cheney, whose speechwriters never miss a chance for a cornball, lame-assed zinger. On the campaign trail, Cheney said, presumably with a straight face:

"Of course, now Senator Kerry says he was just making a joke, and he botched it up," Vice President Dick Cheney said in remarks prepared for a campaign appearance in Montana. "I guess we didn't get the nuance. He was for the joke before he was against it."

Kerry didn't take that bullshit laying down, either. "John McCain ought to ask for an apology from Dick Cheney for misleading America. He ought to ask for an apology from the president for lying about the nuclear program in Africa," said Kerry.

"He ought to ask for an apology for, once again, a week ago referring to al-Qaeda as being the central problem in Iraq when al-Qaeda is not the central problem. Enough is enough."

Uh oh, there's been a "real issues" sighting on the campaign trail!

"I'm not going to stand for these people trying to shift the topic and make it politics," continued Kerry. "America deserves a real discussion about real policy, and that's what this election is going to be about next Tuesday."

Okay, JFK, nice rebound.

Kerry apologizes on Wednesday. He was hard to understand.

Today, Kerry apologized to "to any service member, family member or American who was offended," saying he never intended" to disparage U.S. troops with a "poorly stated joke" aimed at Bush.

The media coverage of this has been so exhaustive and ridiculous, I won't spend much time on a recap, other than to say networks like CNN make a mockery of "reporting" the news, because all the network does is repeat the same stories like this one over and over, giving us very little news. When the network runs out of things to say, it simply has "experts" on who comment on the trivial. This is "The most trusted name in news"?

I'll resist the temptation to sandblast the stupid notion that we have a "liberal" media. Wait, did I? Allow me to throw out a few examples of the hypocritic double standard...

For instance, after all the verbal miscues that have come out of Bush's mouth, it is laughable that the GOP now is groping for this Weapon of Mass Distraction. I remember Bush's disparaging and racist comment about people in the Middle East: "They don't look like us." The GOP apologists went into overdrive claiming he didn't mean what he said - and the press gave him a pass on it, like he got for the crass skit below. Roll tape, YouTube...



The "comedy" skit above (I know, some of the video is dark, but listen to the audio and you'll get the point) is from a media dinner in March 2004, at the height of the "missing WMD" debate. I don't know about you, but that's about as unfunny as it gets, especially when troops at the time (and to this day) are dying in Iraq because of the "slam dunk" intelligence that indeed Iraq had WMDs. This is tasteless at best. Anyone remember the outrage? Yea, me neither.

Anyway, read more about that story Here.

One final thought - where is the outrage and media demand that pumpkin head Rush Limbaugh apologize for his gutless comments about Michael J. Fox last week?

Yea, I'm holding my breath.

Let's get back to the real issues that affect our lives, like when the troops are coming home and when we are getting the hell out of Iraq, and quit debating a gaffe by Kerry.