Kerry the comedian

What a crazy 48 hours its been in U.S. politics. It certainly is the silly season in Washington, as it is before every election, and this one is no different.

How's that shoe leather tasting, Senator Kerry? What an unforgivable gaffe, just in time for the '06 elections. For those of you living in a cave, here's what Kerry said during a campaign stop on Monday:

Kerry told students at Pasadena City College in California, "You know education, if you make the most of it, you study hard, you do your homework, and you make an effort to be smart, you can do well. If you don't, you get stuck in Iraq."

On Tuesday, the rhetoric heated up, with Kerry taking shots at White House Press Secretary Tony Snow and Bush; and both returned the fire in kind. A combative Kerry refused to apologize, which only encourages the blood-thirsty, sound-bite obsessed press. The media treated the gaffe as if Kerry had just urinated on the Lincoln Memorial while lighting an original copy of the Constitution on fire.

Kerry should have apologized right away, but a small part of me dug the fact that he didn't take criticism sitting down, specifically from quick-to-pounce Republicans, whose prospects do not look good this coming Tuesday.

Following Kerry's flub, Snow remarked, "Senator Kerry not only owes an apology to those who are serving, but also to the families of those who've given their lives in this. This is an absolute insult."

Kerry, upon hearing Snow's remarks, was apoplectic. Responding to reporters, Kerry said, "This is the classic GOP playbook. I'm sick and tired of these despicable Republican attacks that always seem to come from those who never can be found to serve in war, but love to attack those who did. I'm not going to be lectured by a stuffed suit White House mouthpiece standing behind a podium."

Where the hell was this Kerry in 2004 in the face of the laughable swift boat attacks? I'm sure glad this combative Kerry reported for duty in the face of this red herring, one week before a hyper-critical election.

Kerry explained that he flubbed an intended joke aimed at President Bush's handling of the Iraq War. Kerry's aides said he had mistakenly dropped one word from his prepared remarks, which was originally written to say "you end up getting us stuck in a war in Iraq." In that context, they said, it was clear Kerry was referring to Bush, not to the troops.

Fair enough, at least in my eyes (and probably many others, who realize that there are about 1,000 more important things we need to be worrying about right now than a tone-deaf, bumbling senator), but not in the eyes of the GOP smear and fear machine.

Bush called Kerry's comments "insulting" and "shameful" and said Kerry owed an apology to the U.S. military.

Judas John McCain was also quick to pounce, saying Kerry owed the troops an apology. So was Dick Cheney, whose speechwriters never miss a chance for a cornball, lame-assed zinger. On the campaign trail, Cheney said, presumably with a straight face:

"Of course, now Senator Kerry says he was just making a joke, and he botched it up," Vice President Dick Cheney said in remarks prepared for a campaign appearance in Montana. "I guess we didn't get the nuance. He was for the joke before he was against it."

Kerry didn't take that bullshit laying down, either. "John McCain ought to ask for an apology from Dick Cheney for misleading America. He ought to ask for an apology from the president for lying about the nuclear program in Africa," said Kerry.

"He ought to ask for an apology for, once again, a week ago referring to al-Qaeda as being the central problem in Iraq when al-Qaeda is not the central problem. Enough is enough."

Uh oh, there's been a "real issues" sighting on the campaign trail!

"I'm not going to stand for these people trying to shift the topic and make it politics," continued Kerry. "America deserves a real discussion about real policy, and that's what this election is going to be about next Tuesday."

Okay, JFK, nice rebound.

Kerry apologizes on Wednesday. He was hard to understand.

Today, Kerry apologized to "to any service member, family member or American who was offended," saying he never intended" to disparage U.S. troops with a "poorly stated joke" aimed at Bush.

The media coverage of this has been so exhaustive and ridiculous, I won't spend much time on a recap, other than to say networks like CNN make a mockery of "reporting" the news, because all the network does is repeat the same stories like this one over and over, giving us very little news. When the network runs out of things to say, it simply has "experts" on who comment on the trivial. This is "The most trusted name in news"?

I'll resist the temptation to sandblast the stupid notion that we have a "liberal" media. Wait, did I? Allow me to throw out a few examples of the hypocritic double standard...

For instance, after all the verbal miscues that have come out of Bush's mouth, it is laughable that the GOP now is groping for this Weapon of Mass Distraction. I remember Bush's disparaging and racist comment about people in the Middle East: "They don't look like us." The GOP apologists went into overdrive claiming he didn't mean what he said - and the press gave him a pass on it, like he got for the crass skit below. Roll tape, YouTube...



The "comedy" skit above (I know, some of the video is dark, but listen to the audio and you'll get the point) is from a media dinner in March 2004, at the height of the "missing WMD" debate. I don't know about you, but that's about as unfunny as it gets, especially when troops at the time (and to this day) are dying in Iraq because of the "slam dunk" intelligence that indeed Iraq had WMDs. This is tasteless at best. Anyone remember the outrage? Yea, me neither.

Anyway, read more about that story Here.

One final thought - where is the outrage and media demand that pumpkin head Rush Limbaugh apologize for his gutless comments about Michael J. Fox last week?

Yea, I'm holding my breath.

Let's get back to the real issues that affect our lives, like when the troops are coming home and when we are getting the hell out of Iraq, and quit debating a gaffe by Kerry.

GOP's down in the 4th - send in the scare play

Above is the latest GOP attempt to scare the living shit out of Americans who, according to the latest polls, are just about fed up with Bush and Karl Rove's version of leadership in America. Or, should I say, fear mongering.

This ad is a disgrace on so many levels, it's pretty tough to overstate how disgusted I am by it. Not as a Democrat, but as an American.

The Republicans have turned America in so many wrong directions and made so many poor decisions, they really have so little to run on. So, in this desperate hour, they are reverting to the one tactic that has helped them win two elections since 9-11 - scare the American people into believing they are the only party that can keep America safe. It's so pathetic, it's rather funny, but what brings me back to Earth is that there are sheep out there who will buy into this line of bullshit, OR who will vote Republican because of a few certain issues, no matter what - religion and pro-life being two of them.

Anyway, both parties are guilty of running negative ads, but the Republicans seem to be taking it to a whole new level. Will it pay off? I doubt it this time around, but if I were in Karl Rove's and Bush's shoes, I'd probably be doing the same thing - it's worked before, and they really have no options left.

BUT WAIT! Of course they do - after years of screwing up Iraq, even the president has signified that it's time to change the course in Iraq. How profoundly said that the deaths of nearly 3,000 American soldiers didn't move him to that, or tens of thousands of dead Iraqi civilians - it's the possibility of losing control of one or both Houses of Congress.

Well, enough on this ad. I'll leave the rest to a sage political commentator that you've come to know quite well on this blog - Keith Olbermann.

It's about TIME - GOP cover story a MUST read

You need to check out Time's cover story in this week's issue. It's a pretty damning picture of the Republican party, but considering the way this year's gone not only for the GOP but the country, this should surprise very few people.

The picture on the cover is hilarious, but shouldn't there be a big pile of Republican crapola there, too? Okay, it's Time, so I guess not.

I'm not going to riff a whole lot on the piece - it's long enough, so you don't need more from me. It is pretty eye opening, though.

One other pic from the article I just had to share...

An evolution pic of GOP blowhards. Money.

GOP's latest Foley diversion: Sandy Berger

The GOP spin machine knows no bounds. In the wake of the Mark Foley Sex Scandal, it's diversion time - a play that the American public should be all too familiar with by now. Hopefully, voters will read this play and drop the GOP for a loss in the backfield on November 7.

The latest pathetic attempt to fire up the base?

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

Clinton, of course! Don't you know the rules by now?

This time, it's a three-year old story of President Clinton's National Security Advisor, Sandy Berger, who evidently took a some classified documents from the National Archives in 2003. He pleaded guilty in federal court to one charge of unauthorized removal and retention of classified material and was fined $50,000. More on the story Here.

Of course, GOP shill Matt Drudge had it as one of his top headlines this evening. What a surprise.

I don't know whether to laugh or get totally enraged by this story. Yes, Berger shouldn't have done it. He pleaded guilty and paid a whompin' ass fine.

It's just amazing what the GOP will do to hold on to power. I wonder if there is anything from the Carter or Johnson administrations that need investigating? Or, perhaps we can beat the Clinton drum for another 3 1/2 weeks?

Buckle up, people - a desperate party about to lose power is an ugly thing, and there really aren't many things these people won't do.

If voters don't turn away the Republicans in droves, I will probably just about completely lose faith in our political system.

Jim Talent - why you W hatin'?

This isn't a total political blog - I promise - it's just that I'm behind and there's so much going on - scandals, liars, and legislators up for reelection who are trying to cover their asses to protect their gravy train.

There's no better example of this than Senator Jim Talent, R-MO, who's now running for cover because President Bush has become political Kryptonite.

Kudos to Tim Russert, who moderated a mini-debate between Missouri's Senatorial candidates yesterday. Russert pressed Talent for his non-answer answer about being identified with Bush. Gee, if Bush has visited your state four times for fundraisers and you've voted with the president 94% of the time, something tells me your fate is tied to the Republican Party, as much as you're trying to distance himself from the president, Mr. Talent.

Here comes a shock - I'm not a fan of Talent. (Yea, I live in Pa., so what difference does it make? Very little, I guess.)

Talent's against stem cell research, and he's a co-sponsor of the flag desecration amendment to the Constitution. His office has said that "We should never support restricting anyone's right to say or write anything they want about the flag of America. But burning the flag is not speech; it is an act with expressive overtones, and that distinction is crucial for constitutional purposes."

Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the GOP traditionally against government interference in our lives? This moron doesn't understand America, Democracy or freedom if he's trying to amend the Constitution so Americans can't burn a flag as a form of protest.

I'd never burn a flag, but who in the hell are these people to tell me I can't? It's just naked pandering through patriotism for votes.

The flag burning debate is so last century, Talent, so why don't you act like you have some of your namesake?

There are about 1,000 issues that are more important than flag burning. We need to kick the tone-deaf morons out of Congress like Jim Talent and Rick Santorum, who don't understand the concept of doing the people's work.

GOP's response to Foley? Clinton &... Studds?!?

I don't mean to be beating you over the head with YouTube clips today, but there's a great deal out there I've been meaning to bring you, and I'm behind. And besides, these are too damn good not to share.

I got this particular piece from Blue Spot, one of my new favorite blogs. It's a great round-up of idiotic Republicans responding to the Foley Sex Scandal.

Rush Limbaugh is always good for a laugh - evidently the OxyContin has worn off and he is under the delusion that he's some sort of moral authority again (I'd argue he never was).

Also interesting to hear Matt Drudge's take on this scandal, shilling for Republicans as usual. His argument sure is on solid ground, eh? I heard something on NPR this morning about Drudge that enraged me - evidentally he meets regularly with RNC Chair Ken Mehlman to receive Republican talking points and things to report about. Drudge's Website is one of the most visited political sites on the Web. Example 1,255,648 that we have a liberal dominated media.

I have to confess that I do drop by Drudge's Website, The Drudge Report, every so often, just to see what Republicans are whining and bitching about. He's not 100% Republicans, just about 90%. Above is a screen shot of TDR when President Bush made the mistake of nominating Bernard Kerik as his Secretary of Homeland Security. Oops.

But, I digress. Drudge's defense of the Foley Sex Scandal is laughable - that the pages were "egging on" Foley. Hmmm - Imagine if Democrats had cried that "Lewinsky was egging on the president"? Can you just imagine the firestorm that would have erupted?

Anyway, thought you might enjoy the roundup.

Grand Old Perverts on borrowed time

For two straight days last week, The Daily Show effectively destroyed Republicans for the Mark Foley Sex Scandal. It's easier for you to watch the roundup than it is for me to write what these morons said, so take a look. The clip above is a little over nine minutes long, but trust me, it's soooo worth your time.

The video clip below isn't too bad, either. Watch them. Then, watch them again. This is the sad state of government in the United States today. Think that's hyperbole? People, Republicans control the White House, both Houses of Congress, and at an ever-increasing rate, the judicial branch, starting with the Supreme Court. And Republicans (and the pundits who parrot their views, including State TV, Fox News) will do or say just about anything to stay in power. About the only thing Republicans haven't done is use the military. Wait... Anyway, more after the video clip below.



Whether you like Jon Stewart or hate him, he does a remarkable job of skewering Republicans and exposing hypocrisy, and for that he should be commended. The best part about Stewart is that the show is well researched - nothing like clubbing Foley over the head with his own video tape from

It's just amazing how Republican lawmakers are running for cover in this scandal, which is a sickening disgrace. When I hear comments from some of these GOP legislators, I'm reminded of the Roman Cathlick Church and the sex scandals that have rocked it in the last 3-4 years. It's bad enough that altar boys were molested by the dozens (and probably hundreds) of priests in the first place, but what was worse was the church leadership that looked the other way for decades. Evidently, the same thing took place with Foley.

Even more laughable are the conservative pundits who are "analyzing" the whole incident. I can't possibly spell this out any clearer--

I fucking HATE Sean Hannity with every fiber of my being. Yes, I wrote hate - a word we are conditioned to shun, but what the hell is Fox spewing on state TV every day? Hate, but in slightly less overt forms. Insannity's comments and pathetic attempts at spin in the video clip at the very top (toward the end - approx. the last 1.5 minutes of the clip) about the Foley scandal are fodder for the bullshit cannon, and they run the risk of ruining his already useless reputation.

First, Hannity brings up a Democratic Congressman who was involved with a page 23 years ago. 23!! Nice. Then, *SURPRISE!* he brings up Clinton and Lewinsky, getting the latter's age wrong, saying she was 19 years old at the time of the affair. Well, Lewinsky was 22, and the affair was between consenting adults, but I'm sure Hannity made an honest mistake there, right?

I also get a kick out of how Hannity tries in vain to bring President Clinton into the scandal: "Now I don't mean to bring Clinton into this, but Monica was 19 years old." Besides getting her age wrong, Hannity lamely attempts to use an age-old trick - trying to hide behind your qualifier to absolve yourself of blame. Of course you meant to bring up Clinton, you dick! It reminds me of people who say, "No offense, but ________." Obviously they know it's going to offend you, or they wouldn't say that. Or people who say, "I'm not a racist, but ___________," and then say something racist.

The sad thing about Hannity is that there are people who actually think he speaks the truth (I'm friends with a few of them) and that the Democrats are behind all of this, and blah blah blah. Pathetic, sad and frightening, all in one human being. Impressive, really. Hannity's father, Rupert Murdoch, must be awfully proud.

The million dollar question about Dennis Hastert, the Speaker of the House, is what did he know and when did he know it? It seems like he's known about Foley's inappropriate behavior for some time; even conservative estimates place it at the beginning of 2006, at the latest, and I've read several other pieces which say Hastert has known about it for years. I'm not interested in a number, but if Hastert knew about it one week before it became public, swift and appropriate action should have been taken against Foley. Fair?

Since it appears that Hastert knew about Foley's misdeeds (crimes) ahead of time, that makes Hastert culpable, and at least partially responsible for allowing Foley's wildly unethical and inappropriate behavior to continue without consequences. Hastert should immediately resign. Considering his statements since the scandal erupted, I wonder if Dennis likes what he sees when he looks in the mirror every morning? You might be asking, am I referring to Hastert, President Bush, or Foley himself? Yes.

Predictably, with an election around the corner, Republican leaders are running for cover and calling the two plays they know best from their playbook: scare tactics and distraction.

Think about the Karl Rove playbook that we are so used to by now.

First off, the election year scare tactics:

Notice how in 2004 and 2006, the wedge issues "mysteriously" came to the forefront? Every speech that Bush gives has to talk about the War on Terror, but we get others, too, in election years: gay marriage, immigration, tax cuts, steroids in baseball, Terri Schiavo, you name it.

I also find is super mysterious that gas prices are suddenly dramatically dropping leading up to this election, too. (It takes shockingly little digging to discover which party is in bed with big oil.)

Now, we're treated with lame-assed attempts by Republicans to scare the shit out of voters - Dick 'n W are running around the country, overtly saying that Democrats can't keep us safe from the terrorists. The scary part is that some people actually believe this shit.

Here's President George W. Bush on CNN last week (10/4/06): "Vote Republican for the safety of the United States of America." The bastard has balls, I'll give him that.

I'll bet my bile duct that there will be some sort of terror alert just before the election, too, or maybe the president will declassify information telling us that a major plot had just been foiled, but that they "can't give us any details due to national security."

Last week Hastert implored House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi to agree to have former FBI Director Louis Freeh look into the whole Foley scandal. When I read that, I almost spit up my stromboli. Freeh, a partisan GOP scumbag, would have just been another GOP mouthpiece. His record during the Clinton years is a disgrace - one of Clinton's biggest mistakes was not firing the bastard, but Clinton hesitated to because it would have looked like he was firing Freeh because Freeh didn't agree with him politically.

Also very amusing to me is Hastert (and other Republicans) blaming the whole Foley scandal on billionaire liberal activist George Soros. What a laugh. How stupid does Hastert think we are? It wasn't that long ago that Mellon Bank heir Richard Mellon Scaife was behind so much of the Clinton trash that was bandied about in the 1990s - most it lies reported as news. Think I'm bullshitting? Read about the Arkansas Project and who funded it. At least with Scaife, there's proof. Hastert is just throwing Soros out there, hoping people will just automatically buy into it without doing any reading of their own. Sadly, some will.

Since 1979, Scaife has donated over $407,000 to Republican candidates, and $2,500 to Democrats. Read about that Here. Scaife had strong ties to Kenneth W. Starr and he also funded the American Spectator, but later defunded the magazine when it was critical of him and wouldn't go along with campaign to call Vince Foster's death a suicide.

Lastly, I find it wildly entertaining that some GOP sycophants and politicians alike are accusing the Democrats of gay bashing. Democrats are doing nothing of the sort, and it's another half-baked attempt at distracting from the real issue, which is an adult, in a position of power, making sexual advances on an minor. It doesn't matter if the perpetrator is male or female, nor does it matter if the victim is male or female. And do Republicans honestly believe anyone who is gay will now turn on the Democrats? You've gotta be kidding. Anyone remember the proposed Constitutional Amendment by Republicans that would define marriage as something between a man and a woman?

It's the sign of an increasingly desperate party - now the GOP is even courting the gay vote! Amazing. I'll say it over and over - the party will do just about anything to stay in power.

Even prominent Republicans are recommending that Hastert step down, including Thomas Kean Jr., GOP Senatorial candidate in New Jersey.

Anyway, one more video clip worth watching...



The clip above is so money. How do the idiots on Fox even say this shit with a straight face? A few thoughts: 1. Where was all of this "investigating" about who is behind a scandal during the Clinton impeachment fiasco? Funny how Fox News all of a sudden now has investigative skills, but in the 1990s when Clinton was in office, the "network" would report any rumor as fact. 2. Even if it proves true that Soros is behind it, (and I'm far from that, considering it's from State TV), so what? If this stuff about Foley is true, I don't give a damn how it came out.

It's scary how inept our country's leadership is. We must have dramatic change in November. I pray it's coming.

Rove & Drudge are at it again

Well, Matt Drudge and Karl Rove are starting up their bullshit already. Must be an election year. Drudge is already parroting Rove's message leading into the primaries and this fall's white-hot Congressional elections.

A few days ago, Drudge's world-famous Website, The Drudge Report, ran this totally attractive picture of Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi. Accompanying the picture was a story about how the Democrats are planning on taking over the House. The story droned on about all of the new legislation the Democrats will pass upon assuming power, as well as a planned investigation of President Bush.

First, the Republicans have done the same thing in the past - revealing what they will do when they were the minority party leading into elections. The best example of this is the 1994 Congressional elections, when the GOP released plans for their Contract With America before the election, when they were the minority party. I won't even get into a rant right now about how phoney the contract was - it's on the trashheap of history, right where it should be. But, the Dems revealing their plans is called having a plan, Matt and Karl. Duh. This is the Democratic party (I hope), presenting a cogent and cohesive plan to voters about what they plan to do when and if they assume power in one or both Houses of Congress.

Second, the President and his administration deserve investigating. I don't know about the "I" word - impeachment shouldn't be bandied about and taken lightly. If that's where it leads, fine, but I'm not ready to say that now. Impeachment should be the last possible resort - it shouldn't be used as a political club for partisan purposes around election time to investigate lesser offenses, such as oral sex.

This is vintage Karl Rove - attempting to scare the daylights out of the Republicans so they all come out and vote in order to keep the Democrats from taking power and destroying America. And I full expect the Republicans to come at the Democrats with everything they've got this time, because they really are in danger of losing the House AND Senate. Rove has made a sport out of dividing America, and he will have both guns blazing away. Anyone remember all of the terror alerts we were subjected to in the summer and fall of 2004? Funny how those alerts have disappeared. Maybe they are working on a new color chart. I think they should consult the J.Crew catalog. Imagine that - "Today, the government has announced that we all all safe - today's color is light aloe." Kind of has a nice ring to it, doesn't it? Anyway, I wouldn't at all be surprised if some of those terror alerts return this summer and fall. It certainly would be convenient, wouldn't it?

The script is familiar, but will the ending be the same? I'd like to think not - if the Democrats haven't learned their lesson by now, they never will. The ineptitude of the Republicans, to say nothing of their arrogance and corruption, has handed the Democrats a golden opportunity. If the Dems have any fight in them (for once),not only can they take back part or all of Congress, but they can actually change America for the better and reverse a number of disasterous courses that Bush and the Republican leadership have set us on these past six years: The War in Iraq, the environment, the deficit, stem cell research, abortion, the Supreme Court, the USA PATRIOT Act, border security, actually protecting our borders, etc. The list is long and downright depressing. It will be tough to undo many mistakes - it may take years on some and decades on others, but hopefully the journey will begin anew in November. If, and that's a big IF, the Democrats actually have a backbone this time to fight against Rove and his minions we have a real chance for change.

I for one can't wait to get out there and campaign and kick these corrupt bums out. It all starts here in Pennsylvania - I'm counting the days until Santorum can sit home and wonder how it all came apart. It's going to be a the long, hot summer of political discontent, but it should all be worth it come November.