Keith, wipe your nose - your dad's running

What a disturbing story. So, weird, in fact, that I want it to be true, because it would now be a letdown if it wasn't.

Rolling Stones Guitarist Keith Richards has been in the news lately, and for all the wrong reasons. (Would he be a rock star if that wasn't the case?)

Last week, in an interview with the British music magazine NME, Richards said other people shouldn't follow his example when it comes to drug use, claiming he is lucky to be alive after his years of substance abuse. When asked what is the strangest thing he has ever snorted, he replied, "The strangest thing I've tried to snort? My father. I snorted my father. He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow."

When I read that, I reacted with revulsion, goose bumps, and then, laughter.

On any level, it's disturbing.

He later released a statement saying it was a joke and it wasn't true. Okay, fair enough, but even if it wasn't, who would even make up a story like that? I have no idea what goes through a user's head, but it must be some pretty sick !#@$%#!!@$% if he could even think to make up a joke like that.

Slate has a hilarious column from last Friday, which actually examines whether it really would be hazardous to snort the ashes of a body. I get the feeling (I hope) it's meant purely as a joke. Oh yea, and if you're mixing up daddy's ashes with blow, something tells me the least of your worries should be the ashes.

I think Richards died five years ago, he's just too stupid to lay down. Hey, it's not like the time hasn't been kind though - I mean, when you look at him, one could never tell that drugs have taken a toll on his body.

Keep on keepin' on, Keith - you're making the rest of us feel quite normal.