The Onion's take on immigration

As usual, The Onion can make fun of just about any topic with flair and humor.

Rendell visits KU, touts education as priority

Ed Rendell paid a visit to KU last Monday, and I had a chance to go see him. I came away mostly impressed.

Rendell touched on a variety of issues, including jobs, Pennsylvania competing for industry and property taxes, but stressed education.

"Before I took office, Pennsylvania wasn't devoting one dime to pre-K education," said Rendell. "I'm happy to say that we now have $55 million [this year] going toward that, and 60 percent of kids are now in full-day Kindergarten."

The governor wasted no time getting to the oft-discussed No Child Left Behind Act.

"There is some good in No Child Left Behind," said Rendell. "I think we need to test every year, because if we only test every three or four years, it may be too late by the time we discover there is a problem. However, [the federal government] gives us no money for remediation."

Rendell brought down the house with a swipe at Bush and his NCLB program: "I think President Bush misread the Bible. It says 'teach thy children well,' but I think he thought it said 'test thy children well.'"

The governor, like any smart politician, had plenty of statistics in his pocket about education to talk at a major university, and he wasn't shy in touting them, citing that the state now provides funding for 184,000 students for after-school tutoring.

After talking education, it didn't take him long to tell the audience why he thinks education is so important.

"During yesteryear, [Pennsylvania] used to have to compete with West Virginia, Ohio, Maryland, Virginia and New Jersey to attract big business and manufacturing firms, but that was it" he said. "Now, we are competing with Singapore, Korea, China and Germany, and we aren't doing a good job at competing."

Rendell had some pretty damning statistics to back up his points. Last year, the U.S. finished 19th in math aptitude, and 21st in science. Yikes.

"And," said Rendell, hammering home the point, "last year was the first year every that the U.S. patent office had more than 50 percent of its applications coming from foreign companies."

The incumbent governor mentioned a few other statistics that may be of interest to Pennsylvania voters. For instance, when he became governor:

-He was handed a $1 billion deficit from outgoing governor Mark Schweiker

-Pennsylvania has lost $1.5 billion in federal funding since he has been governor

-He compared and contrasted our plight in Pennsylvania with the war in Iraq, which is costing the federal government over $2 billion a week

Not surprisingly, Rendell also mentioned property taxes. This is an issue I know little about, but what he had to say was mildly encouraging.

"For 50 years, every [Pennsylvania] governor promised property tax relief, and I'm the first one to do it," said Rendell.

According to the governor, homeowners who earn less than $44k per year will get a refund on their property taxes - a refund check between $250-975 - this year.

"The property tax relief is great for seniors, and a start for everyone else," said Rendell, stating that the state has cut property taxes by $1 billion this year.

No matter the issue, Rendell's implication was always the same: "I can do more if I had a Democratic House," he said, referring to the Republican controlled Pennsylvania Legislature.

Next Tuesday, perhaps Rendell will get his wish.

I like Rendell, and I voted for him vs. Mike Fischer four years ago, but to be honest, he doesn't strike me as someone who has totally kicked butt in Harrisburg. He's done a good but not great job. I'm a Democrat, so of course I'm more inclined to vote for him, but he's getting my vote as much for my belief in traditional Democratic Party values as for who he's running against; Fischer had no ideas of his own in '02, and this year it's Lynn Swann, who has never held elected office, ever. I'm not one to be inclined to vote for career politicians, but experience does count. Pennsylvania has too much at stake over the next four years to elect a Jesse Ventura.

Honestly, considering his credentials, Swann would not have been courted by the Republicans to oppose Rendell if he had the exact same qualifications as a WHITE candidate. Question that if you will, belittle me if you must, but it's the brutal truth. Swann's candidacy is a clumsy attempt by the Republican Party to court the black vote.

On the under card at the event was Lois Murphy, who is running for Jim Gerlach's seat in Pennsylvania's 6th District. She ran hard last time and is poised to take the seat this time, but not without a fight from Gerlach and the GOP slime machine.

She alluded to Gerlach and the GOP's dirty bullshit tricks in her remarks. "People from [Gerlach's] campaign are calling my supporters, over and over, asking them to vote for me, and people are saying I'm not voting for her if she keeps calling me," she said.

Sounds awfully Karl Rovian, doesn't it?

(Quick aside: Think the phone calling mentioned above is unrealistic? Think again. Allen Raymond, a former GOP consultant, pleaded guilty to dirty tricks during the New Hampshire Senate race in 2002.

A quick experpt from a Washington Post article about it:

Raymond was the first to be sentenced of three men charged after the revelation that Democratic get-out-the-vote efforts in Manchester, Nashua, Rochester and Claremont were peppered with more than 800 computer-generated calls over a period of 90 minutes on the morning of Nov. 5, 2002.

Firefighters in Manchester, who were offering rides to the polls independently of the two parties, were also targeted, prosecutors said. Police later determined that an Idaho-based firm called Milo Enterprises had been engaged by GOP Marketplace to make automated hang-up calls.

Read the complete Washington Post article Here.)

Anyway, predictably, Lois Murphy's words were not kind about the current leadership in Congress.

"This Congress is not working on one issue that you care about," said Murphy. I found myself nodding in agreement. "They also aren't addressing health care in any meaningful way."

Of course, the Iraq War came up, too.

"Isn't it funny how my opponent Jim Gerlach and Republican Senators are all saying 'we need a change of direction in Iraq' while Congress is in recess,'" said Murphy. "Where were they when Congress was in session? They just talk about it on the campaign trail."

At the end of their remarks, there was a brief question and answer session, where Rendell answered a host of questions on immigration, education, and a few programs I honestly don't know too much about. But, my ears perked up when he was asked a question by a KU student about rising tuition costs.

Rendell bragged that he's been largely been able to hold the line on tuition increases at Pennsylvania's State System of Higher Education public universities over the last three years to 1%, 1% and 2%. Embarrassingly enough, he referred to the "13 SSHE schools." Oops - there's 14, governor. Hey, we all make mistakes, like your agreeing to do a sports show for Comcast Sportsnight.

Puleeze Ed, stay in Harrisburg and govern. Hopefully, for four more years.

Murphy has some sage ideas on higher education. She mentioned how the Republicans this past year cut $12.7 billion from the college student loan program. She wants it restored. Murphy outlined three things she would do for higher education - 1. Increase Pell Grant funding, 2. Implement a tax deduction of $10k per year, and 3. Cut the interest rates in half for student loans.

On immigration, Rendell and Murphy both had strong views as well.

"Look, this country was built on immigration, and I haven't forgotten that," said Rendell. "We need a uniform federal policy; it should not be different from state to state. I would like to see a guest worker statute."

Murphy had more to add on immigration, too.

"We haven't enforced the laws on the books," said Murphy, citing the increase in illegal aliens since Bush took office from seven million to 11 million.

"In 1999, there were over 400 sanctions against employers who were hiring illegals," continued Murphy. "In 2005, there were four."

I don't know how accurate those stats are, but they are pretty damning, even if the actual numbers are close to that.

It was good to see the candidates stop at KU, but what I really loved was how packed the room was. I love how the younger generation (sheesh, I really sound old now) seems to be getting very involved in politics. And just in the nick of time - it seems the press dubs every election "the most important election of our lifetime."

I guess that's because every successive election is more important than the last.

This one is no different.

Immigration & our southern border

So, the president is in a pretty big pickle right now, and I have just a bit of sympathy for him. Yes, I really do. Because there's no easy way out, no matter who the president is. Our southern border is a very sticky issue. But, the fact of the matter is that illegal immigrants are pouring through our southern, um, "border."



On May 15, the president addressed the nation about immigration and our border problems. His speech read, in part:

"First, the United States must secure its borders. This is a basic responsibility of a sovereign nation. It is also an urgent requirement of our national security. Our objective is straightforward: The border should be open to trade and lawful immigration, and shut to illegal immigrants, as well as criminals, drug dealers, and terrorists.

"I was a governor of a state that has a 1,200-mile border with Mexico. So I know how difficult it is to enforce the border, and how important it is. Since I became President, we've increased funding for border security by 66 percent, and expanded the Border Patrol from about 9,000 to 12,000 agents. The men and women of our Border Patrol are doing a fine job in difficult circumstances, and over the past five years, they have apprehended and sent home about six million people entering America illegally.

"Despite this progress, we do not yet have full control of the border, and I am determined to change that. Tonight I'm calling on Congress to provide funding for dramatic improvements in manpower and technology at the border. By the end of 2008, we'll increase the number of Border Patrol officers by an additional 6,000. When these new agents are deployed, we'll have more than doubled the size of the Border Patrol during my presidency.

"At the same time, we're launching the most technologically advanced border security initiative in American history. We will construct high-tech fences in urban corridors, and build new patrol roads and barriers in rural areas. We'll employ motion sensors, infrared cameras, and unmanned aerial vehicles to prevent illegal crossings. America has the best technology in the world, and we will ensure that the Border Patrol has the technology they need to do their job and secure our border.

"Training thousands of new Border Patrol agents and bringing the most advanced technology to the border will take time. Yet the need to secure our border is urgent. So I'm announcing several immediate steps to strengthen border enforcement during this period of transition:

"One way to help during this transition is to use the National Guard. So, in coordination with governors, up to 6,000 Guard members will be deployed to our southern border. The Border Patrol will remain in the lead. The Guard will assist the Border Patrol by operating surveillance systems, analyzing intelligence, installing fences and vehicle barriers, building patrol roads, and providing training. Guard units will not be involved in direct law enforcement activities -- that duty will be done by the Border Patrol. This initial commitment of Guard members would last for a period of one year. After that, the number of Guard forces will be reduced as new Border Patrol agents and new technologies come online. It is important for Americans to know that we have enough Guard forces to win the war on terror, to respond to natural disasters, and to help secure our border.

"The United States is not going to militarize the southern border. Mexico is our neighbor, and our friend. We will continue to work cooperatively to improve security on both sides of the border, to confront common problems like drug trafficking and crime, and to reduce illegal immigration."

**
Phew! It's hard to know where to start. My first criticism is this - where was this urgency immediately after 9-11? I'm delighted that nearly five years after the worst terrorist attack in American history, we are getting around to attempting to secure our porous southern border.



I'm surprised the dune buggy didn't have "Mission Accomplished" splashed on the side. Of course, Bush administration officials would just cry, "The banner wasn't our idea!" when the ensuing criticism became too much to bear...



...Like when it did here.

First, the prickly issue of immigration. I don't envy the president position, or his options. There's no easy solution for the immigrants already here. I may part ways with my liberal brethren on this issue, but I am not in favor of total amnesty. A reasonable path toward citizenship, yes, but total amnesty, no. Luckily, the sage voices seem to be winning this debate in Washington, and they are largely not in favor of amnesty, either.

A couple things are curious to me about immigration and our border with Mexico.

First, why now? Answer: It's an election year, and Bush and the Republicans court the Latino vote. That one's obvious. A desperate party and an increasingly desperate president are doing whatever they can to scare up votes. Pun totally intended.

I do find it curious though, that in 2004, Kerry tried to make this a campaign issue, and according to Rove, Bush and company, the border was just fine. Now, it's a concern, and Bush and the Republicans are coming to the rescue, securing our borders. Can you imagine Bush coming out with this quote during the 2004 campaign?: (excerpted from above): "Despite this progress, we do not yet have full control of the border, and I am determined to change that..." and "...Training thousands of new Border Patrol agents and bringing the most advanced technology to the border will take time. Yet the need to secure our border is urgent."

No fucking way does he mutter this in '04. During the campaign, according to candidate Bush, he was doing a great job of securing our border! Now, suddenly, the border patrol needs all of this help, money and technology. Amazing what two years can do. And how does Bush propose to secure our border? With 6,000 National Guard troops. However, the states Bush is drawing them from can ill afford to spare them, as they are stretched to the limit with the Iraq war.

I also wonder why these 6,000 border agents that Bush is proposing to hire weren't hired long ago?

The answer lies in election year politics. Funny how we didn't really hear about a gay marriage amendment to the Constitution, immigration, border issues or terrorism threats last year. Whatever happened to those stupid fucking color ratings? And I wonder how many "threats" and "plots" will be "foiled" this summer, leading up to the elections? Of course, we can never hear details - it's all classified. Pretty convenient. Hey, let's foil a few more threats to scare the shit out of everybody! That color chart was hilarious. Did anyone even pay attention to it? Perhaps this would be a better way to get the public's attention:



Current Level:


This year, all of a sudden the wedge issues emerge, especially when Bush's approval ratings are at or near all-time lows.

I nearly lost my lunch when I read these words from Bush during his address to the nation about immigration:

"We cannot build a unified country by inciting people to anger, or playing on anyone's fears, or exploiting the issue of immigration for political gain. We must always remember that real lives will be affected by our debates and decisions, and that every human being has dignity and value no matter what their citizenship papers say."

He must be fucking kidding. I tip my hat to my favorite talk show host, who rightly pointed out that obviously gays and people who oppose his war in Iraq are the only people he minds exposing and abusing for political gain. Well said, Jon Stewart. Bush has made sport out of dividing the electorate to suit his political purposes. One needs to look no further than gay marriage, stem cells and Terry Schiavo.



The good news is that conservatives and liberals alike appear to be finally waking up to the Republicans' election year tactics. We'll know for sure in November.