Two twisted Onion stories

I needed a laugh this morning after my first class, and I got one when I went to the Onion's Website. Here are two "stories" I read there this morning that are so stupid, they're funny. Take a read...

Nation's Presidential Assassins Still Undecided

NEW YORK— As evidenced by the hundreds of newspaper clippings of various presidential candidates glued to his bedroom walls and ceiling, Vietnam veteran Dale Patrick Seaver, 52, is clearly an informed voter. But after watching over 50 debates, countless speeches, and nonstop campaign coverage at "all hours of the night," this presidential assassin has not yet decided who his choice will be in November. MORE

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This next story is one that only a writer can truly appreciate...


Idiom Shortage Leaves Nation All Sewed Up In Horse Pies
WASHINGTON—A crippling idiom shortage that has left millions of Americans struggling to express themselves spread like tugboat hens throughout the U.S. mainland Tuesday in an unparalleled lingual crisis that now has the entire country six winks short of an icicle. MORE

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Quality humor on a Monday morning! I will be posting a direct link on the left side of the blog to the Onion's presidential race, ahem, coverage. Amidst all of the fluff and ridiculousness of a presidential campaign, it's a dose of well needed humor.

A few sites to give you a Sunday laugh

There is so much more I want to get to today, but I also have a million things I need to get done around the house and for school this next week, so I'll be back later on this evening with lots more.

A quick reminder, too - the week of March 10, I'm on Spring Break from both of my teaching jobs, so I will have lots and lots of new content, including book reviews (I'm about six behind), movie reviews (I'm at least that same amount behind) letters to my legislators and much more.

Anyway, I wanted to tell you about a few great Websites that only promise to get better as the 2008 election draws nigh. I must warn you, though - both of these are not for the feint of heart - there's something on both sites that will offend just about anybody. Those of you who know me know that I do have a warped sense of humor at times, so proceed with caution. ;-)

T-Shirt Hell is a site that has something for most warped minds, and some offensive stuff, too, which made me hesitate to mention it to you, but the above t-shirt alone makes the site worthy of at least a plug. I guess by the very nature of the '08 election, with so many firsts, will spawn some memorable t-shirts, slogans and bumper stickers. I can't wait to see the new McCain shirts. One I'd pay for when the race is finally settled between Obama and McCain: YouTube vs. Feeding Tube. I can't take credit for it, though - that belongs to Bill Maher's writers on his show, Real Time with Bill Maher.

The Onion is a wickedly funny Website that's been around for a while, and I'm sure you've all heard about it. In case you're one of the few who haven't, don't waste another moment - click on the image above and be ready to laugh. The beauty of The Onion is that, by most accounts, it's a bipartisan, offbeat look at the world around us. The site's writers are sure to take aim at both presidential candidates this year, and I can't wait to read it all.

One more: The Onion reports on abortion

At the risk of sounding redundant, The Onion can make anything funny - even abortion.

The Onion's take on immigration

As usual, The Onion can make fun of just about any topic with flair and humor.

Surprise! Faux News reports faux news

Yesterday I found one of the funniest stories I've read in a long time. Evidently, Fox News has been busted for reporting fake news. I know how hard that is to believe, but yes, Fox News actually reports things that aren't true.

The network picked up a story from a Website called Associated Content, a parody site in the spirit of The Onion.

The site spoofed a real story about students leaving a slice of ham next to a group of Somalian Muslim middle school students. The story was picked up by the mainstream media, and Associated Content did a spoof on it (click Here).

Some genius at Fox thought the spoof was the real story, and the network reported it that way.

Think Progress has the rest of the story.

You gotta love Fox - putting the faux in faux news since 1996.

Dopes.

Logo from Faux News Channel