McCain on SNL: sorta funny

I have to give credit where credit is due - McCain's appearance on SNL last night was pretty funny, but hey, I'll take the credit away by saying it was just good comedy writing.

A few things I noticed - when McCain was talking about his celebrity connections, I noticed that he didn't mention Elisabeth Hasselbeck. Aww - poor baby.

I thought it was also entertaining that McCain described himself as "a real maverick - a Republican without money." He's right on that count. I find it hilarious listening to Republicans who are so quick to bitch and moan about the amount of money that Obama has raised; this is the first time in many, many presidential elections where the Democratic Nominee has outraised and outspent the GOP candidate.

Talk about money - anyone remember Bush's stupid labels that he gave his fundraisers in 2000 and 2004 - Pioneers, Rangers, Mavericks and Super Rangers? Only guys with the balls the size of Karl Rove and President Bush would give such prominent, public labels to their political donors. (Some of whom have pleaded guilty to politics-related crimes - Jack Abramoff and Thomas Noe among them.)

This is a typical GOP tactic - when the rules benefit them, there's no need for change (or complaining), but when the opposite is true, criticize your opponents for beating you at your own game.

All in all, it was a funny appearance for McCain. Will it win him any votes? I seriously doubt it, but stranger things have happened. At this point, people out there who still describe themselves as "Undecided" are simply letting themselves be convinced by the blatantly misleading ads being run by both sides of the campaign, but mostly by the McCain camp.

Below is McCain's appearance on Weekend Update, which was decidedly more lame.

Time for some Sunday funnies

Since the Bush Administration's Justice Department had a big "data dump" on Friday, I figured I'd have a cartoon dump this afternoon. Speaking of that data dump, notice the administration followed the age-old, tried-and-true, cardinal rule of political PR - always release bad political news/notes after deadline on Friday night.

This cartoon got me thinking about global warming. I've heard skeptics and global warming deniers (and thank God there are fewer and fewer of these people) reason that the US should not do anything to combat global warming because "China or India both aren't doing anything."

My response to that is two-fold (I'll stick with China, since it's much more populous than India): First, China IS doing something about global warming, or at least trying to. Recently it announced that it's spending $200 billion to try and convert a whole city in Western China to solar power. Hmm - can anyone name a U.S. city that's trying to do that?

Also, the United States is still by far the largest greenhouse gas emitter in the world at around 33 percent. Right now, China's greenhouse gases are around 13 percent. So we are belching almost three times as much greenhouse gases as China, yet we have 1/5 of China's population. If you were China, wouldn't you resent this just a little bit? And what kind of message are we sending the rest of the world, specifically the developing countries? "We had our industrial revolution, but you can't have yours - sorry." China, which boasts the world's largest coal reserves, needs cheap energy NOW. Along comes the US saying, "You can't burn coal" after we've been doing it for over 100 years. Yea, a lot of good that's going to do us.

I say this because I question what's happening to leadership in our country? We're the United States - we used to lead, not follow. Evidently, we've turned into a bunch of followers, most notably on the important issues like nuclear proliferation and global warming - issues that affect every member of the human race. Can you imagine the response by the rest of the world if we announced we are taking drastic measures to curb greenhouse gases? It would be HUGE news. What's more, then and only then, if the rest of the world didn't take appropriate action, we'd have a leg to stand on. We don't have one now.

I winced at this one, but there's some truth to it, too. I'll have more on carbon trading later today.

There's a lot of truth in this cartoon, too.

Yes, I'm capable of joking about it, but the "Gore invented the Internet" lie still bugs the living daylights out of me.

This one's gold, plain and simple. There are more similarities between the Bush and Nixon administrations than people are realize, but it looks as if some very intelligent journalists are finally waking up to this fact.

This one nails it. The one on the left, in a metaphorical, political sense, is what's best for the country. I'm very happy the Senate Judiciary Committee issued subpoena power in the investigaton of the Justice Department's dismissal of eight federal prosecutors. This should get very, very interesting. Again, I'll have more on this later today.

Nice. And accurate, too. Rudy's wife should be embarrassed that she's made such a fool of herself. Being married three times (or if your wife happens to have been married three times) shouldn't disqualify a candidate. But, how do you forget a marriage? Sounds intentional to me, but whatever - there are much more important things to be discussing, even at this early stage of the campaign.

Blowhard DeLay hasn't lost his ability to say totally stupid, asanine things.



Speaking of DeLay, I forgot to bring this one to you - it's DeLay getting bitch slapped by Meredith Vieira on The Today Show last week. At one point, he even gets a bit testy, telling Vieira "I didn't know you spoke for the American people," when she brought up a poll that said 59 percent of the American people want the troops out of Iraq.

I got a pretty big kick out of DeLay's comment that the federal prosecutor firings is "a made-up scandal" and "that there's no evidence of any wrongdoing." He also says "this is just a taste of what it's going to be like for the next two years" and that the Democrats are "on a fishing expedition."

You're absolutely right, this is what the next two years are going to be like, scumbag. This administration needs looking into, because before January, Repubes had no oversight whatsoever during Bush's entire presidency. It's breathtaking that DeLay says this stuff with a straight face, considering he's one of the principle architects of the character-assassination, partisan-warfare politics that have dominated Washington since the early 1990s and continues today.

It's pretty entertaining that DeLay's got the balls to say he "never did anything wrong," and how the Democrats set up a specific strategy to "get Tom DeLay 12 years ago. It was on their Website." Ooooohhhhh! Their Website! The Republicans, when Clinton took office, set out to destroy him before he ever raised his right hand on January 20, 1993. That is a well-documented fact - dozens and dozens of books have been written, based on internal memos from Newt Gingrich and Tom DeLay, about their plan to destroy Clinton at all costs.

DeLay would still be in office if he did nothing wrong. Does anyone think that a man as ruthless and power hungry as DeLay wouldn't have given up his Congressional seat unless it was absolutely necessary? Two of his aides pleaded guilty in the Jack Abramoff Scandal, and DeLay knew he was next. Oh, and he's still under federal indictment, by the way. He sounds exactly like Nixon in the clip above - playing the victim, and even referring to himself in the third person. One more thing - learn how to say "terror" - it's "error" with a "t," not "terruh." Wait, keep saying it that way - it makes you appear like the rube you really are.

I have no intention of ever reading his book, or putting money in his pocket for it. But, I did read this on the Huffington Post last night - an excerpt from DeLay's book. The excerpt:

"I believe it was Adolf Hitler who first acknowledged that the big lie is more effective than the little lie, because the big lie is so audacious, such an astonishing immorality, that people have a hard time believing anyone would say it if it wasn't true. You know, the big lie — like the Holocaust never happened or dark-skinned people are less intelligent than light-skinned people. Well, by charging this big lie" — that DeLay violated campaign-finance laws in Texas — "liberals have finally joined the ranks of scoundrels like Hitler."

Check out HuffPo's analysis, by Rachel Sklar:

Never mind the invocation of Godwin's Law, never mind the fact that, where big lies are concerned, the Republicans seem to have that covered — DeLay can't even be bothered to fact-check his own book! "I believe it was Adolf Hitler, but I can't be sure, because I haven't bothered typing the phrase "Hitler" and "big lie" into Google. Buy my book!" Seriously. What a bozo.

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Is DeLay even relevant anymore? Now Democrats are Nazis? I'd really like to know when references to the Nazi Party, Munich, or Hitler became the Titanic of cliches for the Republican Party. Having a Nazi reference in your hip pocket is now like the American Express Card for the GOP - Don't Leave Home Without It.

More on DeLay later, including what I think of his appearance on Meet the Press last week.

Comics from Slate Magazine.

One down, one to go

What a day for justice, or lack thereof -- Jack Abramoff and OJ Simpson. One's finally in jail, and the other's flaunting the fact that he's not.

I'm not even sure what to make of the whole Abramoff Scandal anymore; it's one of the biggest influence peddling scandals ever to hit Washington. On one hand, I hope that everyone who is guilty is brought to justice, Democrat or Republican, but on the other hand, can Abramoff really be trusted? It's hard to say.


OJ is another matter altogether. We aren't talking about corrupt politicians - we're talking about two dead people. I don't know who to detest more, OJ for writing a book, If I Did It; or Fox for giving this human scum the publicity he craves. I urge everyone to not only not buy the book, but to not watch the interview.

I don't know who to feel sadder for - the Goldman family or OJ's children, all of whom have to be subjected to this latest indignation. It's a gut-wrenching, heart-breaking outrage.

Someday, this murdering sonofabitch will get what's coming to him - let's just be sure it isn't in the form of a fat paycheck for writing a book or giving an interview. Of course I'm interested in reading and hearing what a murderer has to say, but I'm not lining his pockets to find out.

Corrupt, unethical, sleazy GOPers; the list grows & grows

God, I pray my drug dealer has more meth!

So much for the "family values" platform of the Republican Party. I have to admit that I get a kick out of sanctimonious Republicans who claim they represent these values, but in the end they can't shake the very vices they publicly scorn.

A quick laundry list:

Ted Haggard (Above): The embattled minister and Bush spiritual advisor recently admitted to reporters that he purchased methamphetamine from a male prostitute he had contacted about a massage. Haggard said he never used the drug and threw it away (Somewhere, Bill Clinton is laughing.)

When asked where he threw it away, he "couldn't remember." Haggard also admitted that it was his voice on the prostitute's voice mails asking to purchase meth. The male escort, Michael Jones, said on a radio talk show last Thursday that he and Haggard had a three-year homosexual affair, which included the use of meth. Hey, I've got no problem with homosexuals at all; quite the opposite, in fact. What I DO have a problem with is a supposedly pious man-of-the-cloth who publicly preaches against gay marriage and homosexuality, but his private life is just the opposite. You deserve all the scorn you're getting, Ted. Oh, P.S. - Haggard is married with five kids. And don't come at me with Jim McGreevy, either - he wasn't hiring male prostitutes or trying to score meth.

Mark Foley: This one's been covered ad nauseum, but there's something profoundly sad about a House Republican who is in charge of combating pedophilia & adults preying on minors who is subsequently revealed to be courting minor Pages working in Congress. Again, this isn't a gay issue, it's an adult/minor issue. But, it's all been done, so I won't spend too much time on this, other than to say that by just about every account, some very high level Republicans knew about Foley's issues long before the scandal became public, including Karl Rove and Dennis Hastert. And that's not my opinion, that's many conservatives.

Jack Abramoff: The Jack Abramoff Fundraising Scandal touches both parties, to be sure, but there's no question it affects Republicans much more than it affects Democrats. Abramoff pleaded guilty to corruption of government officials and defrauding operators of Native American casinos out of millions. Abramoff and his law firm were paid at least $6.7 million by the Commonwealth of the Northern Mariana Islands (CNMI) from 1995 to 2001, which is permitted manufacture goods with the "Made in the USA" label but is not subject to U.S. labor & minimum wage laws. After Abramoff paid for Tom Delay and his staffers to go on trips to the CNMI, they crafted policy that extended exemptions from federal immigration and labor laws to the islands' industries. What's even more amazing about this is that it's received little or no publicity in the "liberal press."



George Allen: (Above) The Republican incumbent is trying to hold onto his Senate seat in Virginia in a heated battle against Democrat James Webb. Late last week, a would-be provocateur approached Senator Allen to ask him some admittedly obnoxious questions, and the man was wrestled and slammed down to the ground by Allen's staff. The victim had no weapon and posed little if any threat, unless you consider a threat an embarrassing question. Watch the video and you decide. This isn't the first incident surrounding Allen's campaign - his behavior has become increasingly bizarre, including his use of a racial epithet. In September 2006, at one of his political rallies, Allen referred to S.R. Sidarth, who was filming the event as a "tracker" for the Webb campaign, as a macaca. Sidarth is of Indian ancestry, but was born and raised in Fairfax County, Virginia.

Tom DeLay: The "velvet hammer" turned out to be covered in Velcro - charges of unethical behavior finally stuck to him. DeLay resigned from Congress when he had no choice - when two of your assistants are convicted in the Abramoff Scandal, you don't have much choice. He's been involved in so much bullshit over the years, going all the way back through the 1980s, I don't even have time to type it all. I hold him in particular scorn over his efforts to slander, libel and defame President Clinton from the time he took office. What goes around, comes around. DeLay's going away, but his legacy will live on, and it's not a good one.

Bob Ney: Ney, a U.S. House Representative from Ohio who pleaded guilty last month in the Jack Abramoff Scandal, resigned from Congress on Friday. The Republican, who had been pressed to quit by fellow GOPers, sent a letter of resignation to House Speaker Dennis Hastert. the Jack Abramoff scandal snags another victim.

John Sweeney: The incumbent Republican Representative is locked in a heated battle with Democrat Kirsten Gillibrand to keep his New York House seat. There have been widespread reports that the police were called to Sweeney's residence on December 2, 2002 after his wife placed a 9-11 call saying he was, "knocking her around the house." He has promised to produce papers that would prove his innocence, but has since done nothing but obfuscate, claiming the papers are forgeries. I only wonder one thing when situations like this crop up - where the hell is his wife now? Keeping her mouth shut just so he can go back to Congress? Unreal. He also has a host of other questionable incidents in his recent past, including the Jack Abramoff Scandal. Hopefully, this sleazy Republican will bite the dust on Tuesday.

Don Sherwood: Sherwood is a special case this fall. The Pennsylvania Representative is in all sorts of trouble; hence, Sherwood's having trouble in his bid for reelection. He's admitted to having a five-year affair with Cynthia Ore, who he paid $500,000 to keep quiet about the affair until after the Nov. 7 election. The man's got balls, that's for sure. Sherwood also allegedly beat Ore up, prompting her to call the police on one occasion. When they arrived, Sherwood explained he was only giving her a "back rub."

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So, there you have it, a GOP Scandals for Dummies List, which just scratches the surface, but frankly, I'm bored and don't feel like typing anymore. For instance, I haven't even touched on all of the scandals that have plagued Republicans since taking over the House in 1994 - the Clinton witch hunt, which uncovered multiple instances of adultery; Newt Gingrich and his multiple ethics violations; Rick Santorum rushing to Terry Schiavo's bedside to score cheap political points; Bill Bennett's gambling multi-million dollar gambling problems; Rush Limbaugh, a true OxyMoron if there ever was one, has got all sorts of problems, the least of which isn't his drug habits; and on and on. Don't get me started on Republican pundits, or I could be here all night.

My point isn't that Democrats are perfect - far from it. As I've blogged before, simply examine their 40+ years of running at least one House in Congress, and you'll uncover all sorts of nasty shit. But, the Democrats aren't in power now - the Republicans are, so it's their turn to feel the heat, and bear responsibility for the many things that need fixing in our foreign and domestic policy. I'm under no illusions that things will be flawless when/if the Democrats take over one or both Houses, but it's time for change. It's also time for some checks on President Bush's agenda - he's pretty much had his way over the last nearly six years with legislation, tax policy, and his budget and judicial appointments.

Tick tock, GOP. Hopefully, the clock is about to run out on your domination of our government.